"Wind & Words"

Rivalry & Doubt

Authors note:
Hi everyone! Yay G.O.T S8 is just a few days away! We will soon find out who sits on the throne. Anyway, to all those who read my fanfic(s) leave a comment and like. I'd love to hear from y'all! I hope you enjoy it.

Jon

Two weeks have gone by since Jon confessed the truth to Daenerys about his parentage. Two weeks of not making love, touching or kissing her. Two weeks of her not speaking to him intimately in his chambers, she only spoke to him out of formality during meetings.
Or while all their council were strategizing for the coming war. She would catch him staring at her at times, then she would stare back with a stern glare and coldly turn away. Causing him to refocus at the task at hand and not at how beautiful she looked. Or how he day dreamed of ripping her clothes off and taking her not caring who was present.
Jon knew it was his fault she was being harsh with him. He was the one who said he couldn't be with her because they're related.
He pushed her away and even though he knew it was the right decision he still longed for her.
Jon was still in love with Daenerys and this is why every time she was emotionless towards him it made his heart hurt. He would just remind himself that not being with her was what honor demanded.
  Jon still did not revealed who he truly is to anyone because if he was being completely honest with himself, he was afraid to. So for the time being Bran, Sam and Daenerys were the only ones who knew and they all would allow him to reveal his secret in his time.
Jon felt horrible when Bran told him the truth, it was worse than the news of the Night King resurrecting Viserion. Although that made him feel like shit also since his death was his fault.
Jon was feeling depressed by his burdens lately, he had pushed away the woman he loved, the man he believed to be his father lied to him, the army of the dead was approaching and death felt inevitable. The night king destroyed the wall with Daenerys' dead dragon and now he was the rightful heir to the throne of Westeros. Which he had no desire in taking because he was fine being Daenerys' Warden of the North.
  Jon's intuition was making him believe that this is another reason why Daenerys was being callous towards him. Perhaps she was still upset that she isn't the rightful heir.
Jon doesn't want to take the throne from her but he remembered what she told him in the Crypts after he told her. She had said she would forsake her claim and stand behind him but Jon would never want her to do that.
Besides he was too focused on The Great War because if they lost, no one would rule.
     Jon sat on his bed in the middle of the night, rubbing his temples in frustration at how life was unraveling before him. 'Two weeks ago things were perfect. Now look at how everything has unfolded, it's not fair.' He thought to himself. 'Beric was right when he told me beyond the wall, that he and I would not find much joy in this life.'
Jon ran his hands through his hair in frustration and wished Melisandre hadn't brought him back to life. 'If I were dead I wouldn't have any cares and I wouldn't have fallen in love with my aunt!'
He wanted to be happy, he had a taste of happiness but now he is miserable. Jon hated that Daenerys thought he didn't love her because he does love her still and with all of his heart.
When she said he didn't love her and watched the tears fall from her face it broke his heart.
Watching her broken hearted every day, trying to be strong and hide her feelings for him made him feel like a complete failure.
He had proclaimed his love for her and he vowed silently to himself that he would protect her always. Yet, here he was the culprit of her pain, he couldn't even protect her from himself.
"How can I protect a kingdom if I cannot even protect the woman I love?" He chastised himself as he got up to pour himself a goblet of wine to help him sleep.
Jon had been drinking more these past two weeks, the stress was overwhelming and if he wanted to stop his mind and rest he had to drink himself into a stupor.
  Jon downed the wine in one long gulp and picked up the brass pitcher and poured himself another full cup. He gulped it up as well and as he poured another cup he heard a firm knock at his door.
He didn't know if it was real or if his muddled mind was playing tricks on him.
So he decided to call out, "Who is it?!"
"It's Sam." Is all he heard.
So Jon put the cup of wine down and walked shirtless over to his chamber doors.
He opened the door and there stood his best friend, Samwell Tarly, in his awkward demeanor waiting to be welcomed in.
Jon gave a slight smile then gesture his hand for Sam to come in, his friend obeyed and sat in the chair at the table where Jon was previously drinking his wine.
Jon walked over slowly to the vacant chair and sat in front of his friend who seemed concerned.
Jon grabbed his cup of wine and began to drink it, slower than before since he now had company. While he drank up the bitter sweet liquid he heard Sam clear his throat to talk.
"Jon, uh I-I'm worried about you. You seem so dispirited lately and I'm not judging, you have plenty on your plate but...Well frankly I'm concerned about your mental state and your health. If we have any shot at defeating the Night King and the army of the dead you need to have a clear head and be rested ready to fight a long battle."
Jon had finished his drink and smiled at his friend while placing the cup down.
"Sam, I'm fine really. I appreciate your concern but I will be fine. You need not trouble yourself over me." Jon hoped he'd buy it and leave him be he wanted to be alone.
Sam's eyebrows creased at Jon's response and he spoke sternly.
"Now look here Jon, I will not be made out to be a fool. I know why you're drinking this heavily and constantly brooding these days. It's because you pushed Daenerys away and now you're trying to pretend that it's nothing." Sam softened his tone and continued, "Jon, I know you still love her and Targaryens are known to..."
Jon cut him off upset, "Known to marry their siblings...I know, I know all that alright! But that doesn't make it right Sam. Of course I still love Daenerys, I love and adore her more than anything. But I can't be with her because here, in the North, where I grew up that sort of shit is not acceptable. It's doesn't matter if I'm a Targaryen, I'm also a Stark and the ways of the North are etched in my very being."
Sam was looking down at the table, he grabbed Jon's pitcher and poured what wine was left into the cup. Jon stared at him confused and speechless, waiting to see what his friend had to say. Sam drank the wine as quickly as he could and slammed the cup on the table. Jon was startled by the sound. Sam wiped the residue off of his top lip with his arm then looked Jon in the eyes.
"Very well then," Sam said, "Since you have everything figured out and want nothing to do with Daenerys. What would you say if I told you that since you've abandoned her that her hand, lord Tyrion has offered her a new alliance. I overheard this conversation earlier this afternoon while I passed her and Tyrion in the hall. But this offer will only happen once the Night King is defeated and if we all survive of course." Sam rose an eyebrow to Jon, to try and peak his interest.
Jon was suddenly intrigued and sat back down in his chair slowly, his brows furrowed and looked at Sam for more information.
Sam continued, "Since it's obvious to everyone now, that something transpired between the two of you but neither will say what. Lord Tyrion asked her if she would be willing to marry someone else, not love since it obviously didn't work out for her with you. But to marry someone for their military alliance, wealth, title and lands."
Jon was infuriated by what Sam was telling him. 'Tyrion is trying to sale her off to the highest bidder!' Jon thought to himself, upset with that damn imp, filling his Dany's head with his own ambitions not hers.
Sam broke his thoughts, "Oh does that news bother you eh? Strike a nerve perhaps? Well that's not all and after I tell you this I know you will be angry."
Jon sucked in his breath and huffed at Sam,
"Seven hells Sam, spit it out then!"
Sam was startled by his animosity but continued, "Lord Tyrion has offered Queen Daenerys a marriage alliance with his brother, Ser Jaime Lannister." Sam raised his brows as the information hit Jon like a hammer.
Jon's eyes widened in fury and he clenched his fists but said nothing, just listened as Sam went on. Jon could feel his temples throbbing as his headache resurfaced.
  "Ser Jaime is the heir to Casterly Rock, the Lannister's are rich and though most of their army was burned by Drogon, the ones who didn't burn along side my family are already in her army. Not to mention that the Lannister name strikes a certain fear in people hearts. They would be an unstoppable alliance, he is a seasoned army commander with a title, not a bastard from the north."
The word bastard made Jon hiss at his friend, "But I'm not a damn bastard Sam!"
When that statement came out of his mouth Sam smiled and said, "I know you're not a bastard, so why in seven hells are you still acting like one Jon?"
Jon stood there shocked at what Sam just revealed to him. He could see clearly for the first time in weeks, Jon smiled at his friend in gratitude. Sam's wise council always clarified his perspective. He stood up drowsy from the wine but he was lucid.
   "I'm Aegon fucken Targaryen, seventh of my name, Son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark, the true heir to the Iron throne. And if Daenerys agrees to Tyrion's marriage alliance to his brother, I will not allow her to sit on the Iron Throne. I will rightfully take what is mine, I will never allow another Lannister to reign over my northern people. The Northern Lords will not submit to them but they will support my claim. With Tyrion as her hand and Jaime as King regrant, Daenerys will be nothing more than a puppet who's strings are being managed by the Lannister's."
Sam stared at him blankly.
"What is it now Sam, spit it out, come on."
"Jon I was hoping if I gave you all that information that you would become consumed by jealousy and realize that you don't want to loose Daenerys. That you would go to her, apologize and ask her to marry you so that the last Targaryens could rule together. But instead now you're trying to be her rival."
Jon walked over to his brother and placed his hand on his shoulder, "Sam I can't, if the circumstances were different perhaps but they aren't. I'm going to announce my parentage to everyone soon alright, once that's done we can go from there. But for now the army of the dead is our first priority."
Sam got up in defeat and Jon walked beside him towards the doors.
"Jon just think about what your doing. If we only have a few weeks or months to live, wouldn't you rather live your last days to the fullest, with the ones you love?"
Jon felt a lump form in his throat, he had told Daenerys almost verbatim, the same words. He shrugged off the emptiness he felt in his heart and bid his friend good night.
When Sam left Jon was engulfed in anger and sadness, how dare Tyrion offer Daenerys his brother. Even though he had bent the knee to her and was now warden he still believed their alliance was the better alternative. Alas, he would never be happy, his love will go off and marry another and he would have to do the same. They would both do their duty and be in loveless marriages.
"No!" Jon told himself, "I will take the throne away from them before they wed her off to Jaime Lannister! She is my blood and will come with me to the Red Keep to live and she will choose who she wants to marry unless she decides not to. If she doesn't marry anyone I will be grateful to the gods." Jon smiled, drowsy from the wine and threw himself on his soft bed, he drifted off into a dreamless sleep.