The Journalist

Chapter Twenty-Seven

I enter the stadium, my stomach fluttering. I walk quietly down the aisle towards the stage. My flats make a quiet shuffling sound. I hear the guys singing and laughing when I suddenly see Harry. He’s sitting on the edge of the stage, looking down.

“Come on Harry, we need to rehearse.” Louis says.

“I don’t want to.”

“Do it for Emma.” Louis says kindly. Harry lets out a bitter laugh that makes my heart twist in my chest.

“Like she ever cared about me.” He says bitterly. The guys look at each other with worry clearly written on their faces.

“I would like to hear you sing.” I say quietly, coming closer. Harry looks up and the guys smile at me. I nod at Liam and he smiles back at me.

I walk up to Harry and hand him his journal.

“Liam gave it to me.”

“Bastard.” The guys start laughing quietly behind him. I hear them leave, giving Harry and I some privacy. I put my hands into the pockets of my jeans. Standing there uncomfortably while Harry turns his journal over in his hands. He placed it next to him on the stage and looked at me. I missed his jade green eyes and their intensity.

“Hey.” I said, trying for casual.

“Hey.” He said. I tilt my head to the side, considering what I should say next.

“Did you really buy a copy of Glamour?” I asked.

“Of course. Your articles are always the best. I’ve never looked better since I got rid of my pastels.” He gave me a small smile and I smiled back. I’ve never seen him in anything but a tux, black jeans and a white or black t-shirt.

“I don’t know.” I said, “I think you would look good in a pastel purple.” Harry smiled and looked away and I looked down at my shoes. I wondered if this was it, playful banter and then he’d disappear again, leaving me with my what ifs.

“So what’s his name?” Harry asked suddenly. I looked up in confusion. “You must have a boyfriend by now.” He doesn’t care about me. I realized. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

“I-I don’t have a boyfriend.” I managed.

“That’s a shame. It was nice to see you Emma.” He swung his legs onto the stage and stood up.

“Nice to see you too.” I said quietly, looking down. He turned around and I turned and started walking away. I wanted to fight, tell him I missed him that life wasn’t worth living with him. But he’d made it clear he was done with me. His journal was probably a fake; Liam probably wrote it to make me come. I felt pathetic and used.

“Emma! Wait!” Louis yelled after me. I turned. Louis ran up to me and grabbed my arm.

“I’m going to kill Harry.” He said, dragging me back towards the stage.

“Harry!” he yelled. Harry came out from behind the stage.

“What?” He snapped.

“Jesus Christ Harry do I have to spell it out for you? You love Emma and Emma obviously loves you since she came all the way from New York to see your stupid face. Now actually talk to her and if you are an asshole I will kick you out of the band!” Louis pushed Harry and I together and then stormed off the stage. Harry and I looked at each other.

“Your face is stupid.” I agreed. Harry rubbed a hand along his jaw.

“I’m sorry.” He said.

“I know you don’t want to talk to me but I just want to know. Did you mean what you wrote in your journal?” I looked at him hopefully.

“Every word.” He said seriously. I bit my lip and looked away.

“I’ve missed you and you missed me and when I came all you did was push me away.”

“I know.” He said quietly.

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do.”

“I’m afraid you’ll leave me! Okay?” Harry yelled. “I spend every second thinking about you but I know that’ll never be enough! I’m afraid that you’ll realize that you’re too good for me and leave me all alone! I’d rather be alone than risk losing you.” His fists clenched and his chest heaved. I moved closer to him and gently took one of his hands and made him unclench his fist.

“I would never leave you.” I said quietly.

“How would you know that?” He whispered, looking at me with his beautiful green eyes.

“I’m hopelessly in love with you Harry.” I whispered, placing my forehead against his. “I could never leave you even if I tried.” I stared into his eyes and he stared back.

“I love you.” He said simply. I smiled and he kissed me, pulling my body against his.

“I love you too.” I whispered when we broke apart. This time Harry smiled and I kissed him.