The Journalist

Chapter Twenty-Six

5 minutes later I was seated across from Liam at the coffee shop.

“I’m sorry I have to make this short but I’m only here because the plane was having some problems.”

“Okay.” I said, still confused.

“Here” He handed me a brown leather journal, Harry’s journal. “I took it when he wasn’t looking this morning. Please read it.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Harry’s an ass and won’t talk to you, so I figured this would work instead.” I smiled and took the journal. Liam’s phone rang.

“I better go.” He said, standing.

“Thank you for coming.’ I said and we hugged. Liam hailed a cab and sped away. I walked back to my apartment clutching the journal tightly. I walked in and took off my shoes and poured myself a cup of coffee before sitting down and opening the journal. I flicked through the first couple pages, the journal had started when he first met Claire and it was filled with details of their dates in his careful writing. I stopped when I saw my name and read the entry.

Dear Journal,

I saved someone’s life today. That sounds bad; rather I pushed her out of traffic to avoid getting hit. I was walking when I saw her in the middle of the street, her shoe was stuck in a man hole cover and she was trying to pull it out, a car was coming and I ran over and pushed her out of the way. The only thing she was worried about was her shoe. I would’ve laughed but she passed out afterwards. I took her to the hospital and I’m waiting to see if she’s okay now. She’s coming out of her room. I have to go.

-Harry

I smiled and flicked to the next entry, it was the same day.

Journal

Her name is Emma Knightly. She offered to buy me coffee after she woke up and I accepted. She’s amazing to say the least. She’s funny without even trying to be and when she would smile at me I wanted to kiss her. I shouldn’t think these things, I’m engaged to Claire, and I love Claire. But…Emma doesn’t even know who I am. She’s never heard of One Direction. When I told her my name, nothing. No screaming, no fake smiles, I loved it. I should have kissed her. No I can’t think like this. I’m glad I’ll never see her again, who knows what will happen.

-Harry

Journal

I should have known it wouldn’t be so easy. Emma works for the magazine that wants to cover the wedding. She seemed…angry I guess to see me. I guess I would be too. Her boss was horrible to her, I wanted to say something but I knew that neither of them would like that. Louis said I stared at her the whole meeting. I told him to shut up and he said her and I would be better together than Claire and I. The guys never have or will like Claire. I guess it comes with being the youngest, my relationship becomes more their business than mine. I have to go.

-Harry

I flicked through the next couple entries, they were mainly about Claire and planning and how I ‘teased Harry mercilessly’. I smiled when I read a couple of his complaints. I stopped when I got to one entry.

Journal

Today Emma, the guys and I went surfing. Claire left for a shoot, she’s been distant lately. She hardly spends anytime with me and when we do all she does is snap at me. I hate to say it but I need a break. Anyways we went surfing. Emma and I were talking, before we took our boards out. She seemed pretty confident so I didn’t worry about her. We went out and we hit a wave. It was amazing and when I looked over I saw Emma falling into the water. I swam over as fast as I could when she came to the surface and came towards me. I pulled her to shore and then she barfed all over. It was disgusting but I could tell she felt shitty so I tried to make her feel better.I have to go Niall wants to play football.

-Harry

Journal-

I hate Emma’s boss. I hated her before but now I really hate her. She treats Emma like absolute shit and she deserves better than that. I’m not sure what her boss said to her today but she was really upset so I took her to a baseball game. It was really fun until the kiss cam came on. Emma kissed me on the cheek and then laughed like it meant nothing. It meant everything to me. I wanted to grab her and kiss her and never let go but then I remembered Claire. I left and went to the bathroom and tried to get my head on straight. I love Claire, but now…do I love Emma? Did I ever love Claire? I need to leave to get my head on straight.

-Harry

Journal-

I think I’ve really messed things up now. I kissed Emma today. I was drunk and I just wanted to know if I still felt anything for Claire. I kissed her and it was amazing but then she pushed me away. She told me she couldn’t live with herself if she broke Claire and I up and that she wasn’t worth my time. I had forgotten about Greg. Of course she pushed me away. I was no better that that scum bag. The wedding’s in a couple days. I can’t tell if I still want to go through with this.

-Harry

Journal-

What the hell happened today? I saw Emma today for the first time in days. She looked amazing and the guys made me take a picture with her. As soon as I got near her I realized I could never marry Claire. I would spend the rest of my life thinking about Emma and that isn’t fair to her. I went into her room and I told her I couldn’t go through with the wedding and you know what she said? ‘Good.’ I asked her what she meant. ‘I’ve realized something.’ She looked at me so seriously, during our whole relationship she never stopped smiling for more than a few seconds. ‘I’ve never loved you.’ I was heartbroken even though I wanted to say the same thing to her a few seconds ago. ‘Oh and I’ve been cheating on you too, since we’re being honest.’ Then she smiled at me and left. The guys found me in her room a couple minutes later on the floor with a bottle of vodka. Nothing makes sense anymore. They told me Emma left too. How is it that the two people who I cared about the most leave me on the same day?

-Harry

I cover my mouth in shock. How could Claire do that to Harry? I feel guilty for the small sense of relief that I feel that Claire didn’t marry Harry.

Journal-

I’ve tried to forget about Emma but I can’t. Claire is easier to forget, that heartless bitch. I shouldn’t be angry with her. Now I know how Emma feels. Emma. I tried drinking her away, I tried partying I tried seeing someone new but she’s always there. I miss her more than I thought I would.

-Harry

I flick through the entries, each one more depressed than the last. My heart is breaking for Harry. I wonder if he knows that I’ve felt the same way this past year I stop at the latest entry.

Journal-

We’re off to Los Angeles for a charity Concert. It was Liam’s idea. I hate it. What a joke. I hate California now, even more than New York. Liam told me Emma got a new job at Glamour and I picked up a magazine. I went through every page until I found her article. It was on spring’s hottest trends. I started crying when I saw her name. I’m a mess. I pray every day that maybe I’ll forget about her but I can’t. I have to go.

-Harry.

I looked at the date; this entry was today just before Liam met me for coffee. Without thinking I stand up and grab my purse and my phone and leave. I dial a number.

“Hello? Yes I’d like a ticket to LAX please.”