Sequel to "I am"
Charlotte is moments away from having the biggest arrest of her career when it suddenly seems like everything is falling apart. One year after the events of the last book (and 3 weeks after the epilogue), Charlotte and Connor have...
I swore to God, that I wouldn't put authors notes on every single chapter. But lord help me this comment was so funny, I legitimately stopped what I was doing and laughed out loud.
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Everyone has to see this piece of comedy. Everyone. Thank you @lunar_melody_. Thank you.
~
Nick wandered around the desk with this look in his eyes. He was chewing on his nails to such a point that they were practically raw. Nervous. He looked down at my duffel bag and sighed.
I opened up the duffel bag without even a cue. "This is nothing we're not used to," I explained. Nick nodded. I was nervous, but not nearly as nervous as him. We knew that tonight we might very well capture a serial killer, and that's nothing to celebrate. It's nothing to be excited over.
Connor gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving out for the day. Nick sat down at his desk and immediately stood back up shaking his head. "Nothing feels right," he groaned. "Something is going to go wrong."
"No, it won't, Nick," I rolled my eyes. "You're just freaking out. We can't have you freaking out."
"You're right, Bolts. I'm sorry," he mumbled. "Y'know, I'm starting to think that boy might really love you." He gestured in the direction of the door Connor had left out of.
"What ever gave you that idea?" I asked chuckling.
"I mean, you get away with ignoring him all day. Sometimes when you're here you treat him like a puppy, and he just kisses you and leaves. Like, what is that?"
"I think...he appreciates me? He's my husband after all."
"Yeah, it's weird. I don't like it. God forbid I ignore Gavin at work. Suddenly we're watching old episodes of Queer Eye from like 2018, and he's like 'That Antoni is sure is a silver fox' and 'Bobby looks better than you do.' I hate it, but at least it's something."
"That's called passive aggression. Connor and I communicate," I shrugged.
"No, you don't. You never have. You don't talk like we do. We know everything about each other. You and Connor just connected one day and now you have it memorized in your code. Connor just goes with whatever you say and chuckles along like he's still programmed to wash Hank's clothes."
"Hey, uh, fuck you?" I nearly yelled.
"Sorry. But you know I'm right. Have you guys ever argued?"
"I mean, yeah, duh. We've just...never really blown up at each other."
"Well, uh yeah. You just told me to fuck off. But we've blown up at each other, and look at us. Practically joined at the hip," Nick said pointing to the desks, which were shoved together so hard, not even a penny could slip through.
"We're allowed to be. We're best friends," I shrugged.
"I was thinking about that. You know in my best man speech I said 'my best friend is marrying her best friend.' I kind of just wrote that in to placate everyone who thinks like 'people should marry their best friend!' And looking to it now, isn't that so fucking unrealistic?" Nick asked.
"I mean...Connor is my best friend, just a different kind of best friend."
"The kind of best friend you fuck," Nick shrugged.
"I...guess?"
"Oh my God, you two don't have sex!" Nick nearly yelled. Hank looked over suddenly.
"Hey, asshole. I don't need to hear about my son's sex life," he nearly yelled.
"Sorry," Nick said turning to him, and suddenly back to me, jaw dropped.
"You don't do you?" he whispered.
"Oh my God. Of...course we do," I whispered back. Hank groaned and put on his headphones.
"How often?" Nick asked, walking over to me, and standing next to me, as though he were a parent asking me to show him who I was texting.
"Uh..." What's a number not too high, and not too low? Like...what's good enough? "4 times...a...day?"
Nick laughed so hard he almost fell over. "You're fucking lying. I know you're androids, but no one can go that long."
"Alright, Nick. How often do you and Gavin...have...sex?"
"We don't have sex. We just stare at each other from across the room with our arms crossed waiting for one of us to move. It's like a predator-prey thing."
"Is...that a form of BDSM?" I asked, shifting my eyebrows. Nick chuckled.
"Obviously, I'm kidding, Bolts. Maybe like once every couple of days? Like a normal couple? Not fucking like rabbits like you and Connor apparently."
"Nick, I will shoot you," Hank said.
"Fire, old man," Nick said turning around. "I'm already dead inside. You can't kill what's already dead.
Hank chuckled and turned his volume up.
"But seriously, Charlotte. How often? Now, I'm interested," He said leaning onto his knees.
"I'd rather not go into the details of my sex life at work, you dunce," I said, knocking on his temple.
"Eh, it's 6:30. Consider yourself off the clock until we leave at 9. So...how often, Charlotte?"
"Like twice," I shrugged.
"Twice a...week?" Nick prompted.
"Does it matter?" I asked, far more aggressively this time.
"I guess not. Have it your way, Charlotte," He shrugged.
"Oh don't get pissy with me just because I won't tell you that very odd part of my life."
