8th Period

21

Ryan drove us to Nancy's Diner that morning and we ate breakfast together, I didn't eat much though as I was too focused on Luna. I just wanted to see her, she was going through so much. Her spring break was going to be spent in a psych ward. I still couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that she could have died, never to talking to any of us again. I don't even understand why she did it. I mean I know she's been going through something but I didn't know it was that serious.

After we ate breakfast Ryan took me back to his house and I laid on the couch while he grabbed a blanket for me, draping it over my body.

"Do you need anything?" He asked looking down at me with a hopeful smile.
"No I'm okay." I said in a monotone voice.
"Wanna talk about it?" He asked sitting down rubbing my legs, I sat up.
"I just don't understand why, why would she do that to herself. Why would she just try to leave all of us like that?"
"She thought it was the only way out, she thought that was what she had to do to make things better. She wasn't thinking clearly. But it's going to get better, she's getting help and will be back to school on Tuesday. If she needs more help there are many goods therapists in this town and people can help her."
"I mean okay but she's too stubborn to get a therapist." I said wiping a tear away.
"If she needs it she needs it, she can't run away from this. Not getting help may lead to something worse and we don't want that."
"Okay." I said with a halfway smile.

I pulled out my phone and went on Snapchat to text everyone. My Snap was flooded with messages from people at our school, almost everyone knew about it already. Everyone was posting about it too, this wasn't going to end well.

That night Ryan dropped me off and Hazel, Dennis, and I stayed at Carson's house. He was a wreck, I think he feels like it's his fault because he was there and he thinks it could have been stopped. He feels awful about the whole thing. All three of us feel so bad for him because he was the one that seen her body on the floor pills scattered about her lifeless body.

We tried to take our minds off of things by watching movies and doing homework but we all know Luna was the main topic in our thoughts. No doubt. Dennis' friend brought us weed to smoke but we didn't because Luna wasn't there. Since Freshmen year we all got together on April 19th and stayed up all night to smoke weed on April 20th, it was dumb but it's become a tradition and doing it without Luna didn't make sense.

We all struggled to get through the semi-awkward night but it ended up being okay when Carson broke out in tears and we all talked about everything and what we were feeling.

The next morning we all left partially okay, we had a very good talk and I felt some weight lifted off of my shoulders. When I got home I told my parents everything and it was a grand topic at our Easter party we were having that Saturday afternoon. On Easter we celebrated without Luna, which was difficult but I got through it.

Monday morning I got a call from Hazel, as I answered I heard sniffles as she spoke.

"I don't think I could live without her." She said letting out a cry.
"Oh I know, but she's okay. She's going to be okay. She just needs some help and we all have to be there for her every step of the way." I said reassuring her. "How about we all go to the beach at noon and then we can all go to a party tonight and get drunk." I said hoping she would say yes, I'm in need of a drinking session.
"Okay that would help I think." She responded no longer crying.

Soon we all met up at the beach, all of our faces still puffy from crying. Hazel and Carson when out to the water while Dennis and I stayed behind sitting on our towels.

"You think she'll try again?" Dennis asked looking out to the ocean.
"I don't know, it's hard to say. We don't even know why she did it."
"Yeah. You're really staying strong."
"No I'm not, I cry every chance I get."
"No what I mean is - is that you have reassured us about everything and given good advice thank you for that."
"You're welcome." I said unsurely.
"So where's Ryan?" He asked leaning back and laying down.
"Oh he's at his parents house, he stayed with them last night after their Easter party." I said.
"He's lucky to have a girl like you."
"Yeah I guess so but I don't know how long it will last, I mean we are graduating next year."
"Hopefully you guys will make it and if you don't, you know my number." He said in a seductive tone.
"I hope you're joking." I said awkwardly laughing.
"Oh yeah I am of course." He said laughing along with me.

Here we go, I thought.

Authors note - hi! I'm going to be posting Monday and Friday every week from now on!