one-shot collection [multi-fandom]

Confetti! || Barlyle

This is a sequel to Dorms of Bio Warfare

The day had come. High school graduation. No one was sure who was more happy, the students, or the staff and faculty.

Two years ago, the Bakers and the Dozens were flinging mouldy sandwiches and stuffing the ceilings with used feminine products. Now, it was time for the real world. Or so everyone hoped.

You would think as the boys got older, the "pranks" would descale, or disappear completely. Oh how they wished. Admittedly, there hadn't been many pranks the last few weeks, but they just brushed it off, surely it was nothing. Surely... right???

It was half-way through Headmaster Krooner's farewell speech - Headmistress Hallett was offered a job in a school that didn't have Phillip Carlyle or Phineas Barnum - when the students began to notice the police officers standing at the back of the hall. Why were they here? What were they doing? What happened? Who's in trouble? Ignoring the not-so-silent whispering, Headmaster Krooner soldiered on.

Finally, the last student had walked across the stage, and it was time to celebrate the departure of the seniors. Along the walls of the hall were confetti cannons, just waiting to go off.

3!

2!

1!

And with a shout of Freedom!, the cannons exploded, showering everyone in the hall with confetti. Just not the type of confetti they were expecting.

~0~

Earlier that morning, the local police had been called down to the town morgue. The rather frantic, hurried message from the mortician had the officers confused, and a little worried. It was a small town, a quiet town. The local traffic consisted of a few old ladies gossiping on a street corner, and on weekends, the boys from the old school up the hill.

Oh.

Oh.

With a deep, regretful sigh, the officers pulled straws on who would have to deal with the Baker's Dozen's latest prank. When the two who lucked out finally arrived, however, they decided that they would need everyone.

"So tell me who's missing again?"

"Everyone!"

The exasperated sigh from the officer, and a shared look between his partner, he asked the frantic mortician again. "Who is missing, exactly?"

Scuttling over to his desk, the frazzled mortician opened the top draw of his desk and pulled out a clipboard. "Mr. and Mrs. Blaker - they passed yesterday from the shingles, god bless them and their 80 year-old hearts. Ms. Cecil - she passed, uh, about 2 weeks ago from, uh, Gonorrhea. Then there was a Jane Doe, some sort of hitchhiker I think, found dead 4 days ago with her head smashed in. Lastly was, uh, Father Bennett, found dead in his bed just the other day, death wasn't natural I can tell you that."

Phillip and Phineas were in for it now. Five stolen bodies and a possible murder. These boys didn't do things in halves. What was the expression kids used nowadays? Go hard or go home.

~0~

While the shredded body-parts showered down around them, Phillip and Phineas could not be happier. 12 years of school were over, and they were never looking back. Ignoring their screaming cohorts, as they were covered in blood and bone, their lips met one final time. They knew there was no way they were walking out of there free.

All they wanted, was to go out with a bang.