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12th august / (i can't breathe)

i woke up,
gasping for air,
thinking i was gone,
you were gone,
everyone was gone.

but when the first tear
comes trickling down my face,
i knew then that i was still alive.

what i felt
was suffocating—
like someone strangling
the life out of me;
i haven't gotten
a panic attack
in so long that when i did,
i just broke down
and fell into pieces,
tears all over the place,
cradling my legs
towards my fragile body,
repeating "i can't breathe"
over and over again.

—it was the worst feeling ever; i felt terribly alone without anyone by my side. but you came to me and i was thankful even if you didn't understand.

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