Merlin
One should never drink alcohol. At least not too much.
That's what I thought while taking another sip out of my glass.
I seriously needed this. Facing me, sat a shirtless and forbiddingly good looking Arthur Pendragon. And it got harder every second not to stare at his exposed body, with the dimmed lights in the room making his abs look even more toned.
To be honest, the alcohol probably wasn't helping at all. With every sip I took, I felt my eyes were drifting away more often. Their gaze always landed on Arthur.
Why did he have to look so good?!
He couldn't hide that he was quite tipsy himself either. His cheeks were flushing red, and he was constantly giggling.
I noticed that he was also watching me. He even sort of twinkled in my direction. He probably thought it was a very 'cool' thing to do, but it seemed kinda desperate.
The game continued and I wasn't really paying attention anymore, until I heard someone ask the question: "All of you, name two people in this room you would like to see in a relationship."
Without even thinking about it for a second I just blurted my answer straight out:
"Whoooo get ready for this: Arthur and me." Enthusiastic, I looked at the people sitting around me, a big smile on my face.
They were all laughing or at least smiling. Except for Arthur, who seemed a little shocked. Before I could even realize what just happened Gwaine raised his glass: "I. Ship. It."
That's when I started to panic. What in heaven's name did I just say?! Anxiously, I tried to cover my face in my sweaty palms, avoiding Arthur's gaze at all cost.
"Uhm sorry, didn't mean to say that out loud. I should really stop drinking that much.", I started to mumble, clearly looking for excuses.
Morgana leaned over to me, raising her eyebrows playfully: "Well ya know what they say. Alcohol exposes your true thoughts."
Clearly uncomfortable, I tried to flash a smile and shook my head a few times: "No, uhm clearly I was joking tehe. But I guess..guess I'm not as funny as I think I am."
I faked a small laugh, but no one seemed to believe me, as they were all just smiling at me and playing woth their brows. Gwen and Lancelot were looking at eachother with that 'i-absolutely-know-what's-going-on-and-you-know-it-too' look. Gwaine was happily chanting: "Merlin and Arthur, sitting on a treeeee... kISsInGGg", while making googly eyes in mine and Arthur's direction.
I could've just let it happen and joke about it like the others did. But for some reason I didn't say a word. Withe very moment passing by, I got more nervous and my sweating intensified.
I needed to get out of here for a second.
"I need to get some fresh air, it's kind of hot in here.", I said while standing up nearly falling down again. Standing up and walking, while being drunk was much harder than being drunk while sitting.
I managaed to slowly walk away from the circle of people, finding a way out into the cold night. As I was walking away, I could still hear my friends laughing and Gwaine was of course still singing songs about Arthur and me.
The moment I quit the barn, I took a deep breath. The cold air tasted good in my lungs, a mixture of freedom and unfulfilled dreams. I smiled a little about how cheesy I could be sometimes.
I noticed a small hill behind the barn, and I started walking towards it.
After a few minutes of unsteady tumbling I had reached the top. I sat down into the cold grass and pulled my knees towards my body, embracing them with both my arms.
I looked up into the nightsky and even tho my vision was a little blurry, I could make out all of the twinkling stars above me. Where I came, on some days you could observe two or three stars at most. The other days, you saw none.
A little blown away by this picture above me, I slowly started smiling. At the exact same time I felt my eyes wet, and before I could even explain what was happening the first tear roller down my cheeks.
I was moved. I had never seen such a beautiful thing in my whole life and I tried to memorize every little detail of this image in my head, tried to remember every star, every colour, every cloud.
I thought about what I had said earlier. Even tho Arthur's reaction to my 'outing' had been quite positive, I didn't know how he felt about me making that stupid comment. Probably he thought I was hitting on him and I probably made him feel uncomfortable.
I was so ashamed of myself. And scared. Why did I have to be that stupid. Arthur probably didn't want to be friends anymore. But who was I kidding? He probably didn't even see me as a friend. Still, I surely had just destroyed whatever it was we had.
I let out a loud sigh and lay down in the grass, my eyes still fixed on the nightsky.
Suddenly I heard something at the bottom of the hill. I sat up, wiped away my tears with the back of my hand and listened. The noise came closer and to my surprise it sounded like - footsteps.
A shiver ran down my back. I hoped it was only Gwaine or someone else of my friends and not some creepy person I didn't know. A little frightened, I raised my voice:
"Hello? Who's there?"
