Merlin
I woke up in my small bed and was instantly blinded by the first rays of sunshine beaming through my window.
Three days had passed since Morgana's birthday party. Three days since the best night of my life.
I sighed and sat up clumsily in the bed. I wish I could've slept longer. I didn't want to get to work.
Mainly because I didn't want to see Arthur.
Well actually, I wanted to see him. But since the party, things had changed a little between us.
It wasn't like he was being mean to me, not at all. But the morning after he had kissed me on the cheek and had obviously flirted with me, he acted like none of that actually happened.
He didn't say anything on the topic, and when I wanted to talk about it, he started to act like he didn't hear me or his replies were completely off-subject.
I put my face in both my hands and rubbed my temples. I didn't even know what to feel. Confusion. Sadness. Desperation. Regret. But mostly confusion.
I simply didn't understand. How could he have been so caring and flirtatious for one night, and now he was distancing himself from me and seemed so..cold.
I was so stupid. I had seriously thought about the possibility that he could actually have feelings for me. Well, by his actions in the last days he was clearly indicating that he didn't.
I found myself standing in front of the mirror, facing a tired out version of myself, with dark undereye circles and completely messed up hair. In the last days I hadn't gotten a lot of sleep, because I was too preoccupied thinking about Arthur.
I turned on the tap, and used both my hands to splash some ice cold water on my face. The feeling of the water running down my face shut down all my thoughts. And for one moment my mind was completely empty. A black hole.
I washed my face a little longer than needed, and dried it with a towel afterwards. I brushed my teeth and quickly tried to righten the mess of hair on my head, but I gave up as soon as I started. I went through it with my hand, so that it didn't look as bad.
As I dressed up, my thoughts returned straight to Arthur. And I came to a final decision.
Whether he liked me or not, and I was pretty sure he didn't, I was still gonna try and be his friend.
These last days, it had been a little awkward between us. He had distanced himself a little and I didn't speak a lot. Mainly, because I didn't really know how to behave 'round him after Morgana's party.
But I had decided that I was not gonna let my insecurities and sadness over the fact that he didn't like me ruin our bond.
I pulled a plain white t-shirt, which was a little big, over my head and put on a pair of light blue skinny jeans.
One look at the clock told me that I should hurry up, I needed to meet Arthur before the house in five minutes.
I quickly grabbed my black Ray Ban's and shot one last look in the mirror.
I could do this. It would be hard to put aside my feelings for Arthur, but our friendship was worth it.
I noticed Arthur's leather jacket hanging behind me, which I still hadn't returned. I decided to casually wear it, and give it back to him afterwards.
Why did it have to smell so good?
Instantly, the images of me and Arthur stargazing flashed through my mind and a hint of sad nostalgia hit me.
I gathered all my strength and pushed them aside. I needed to concentrate on different things, at least for now.
I took a few moments to put on my boots, and then I finally left my room.
Arthur
I had been standing outside of the house for ten minutes, waiting for Merlin.
I pressed my cigarettes against my lips, took a deep drag and inhaled the smoke.
As I exhaled again, my mind was a little clearer.
I didn't smoke that often. Only if I was stressed, nervous or sad. Only if I felt like I needed to. And today, I definitely did.
My mind was filled with the pictures of that raven haired boy.
I took another drag.
The images didn't vanish.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
The only thing I could think about was Merlin.
Merlin laughing, while we were lying next to eachother in the dark.
Merlin's ocean blue eyes and the typical confused look in them.
Merlin's soft hands in mine. His head on my chest.
I missed the contact to him. The last days have been a little messed up. Even tho I didn't want to, I've avoided Merlin.
It was simply a lot to deal with.
I was quite sure I had some kind if feelings for Merlin. And to be honest I had no idea how to handle that.
I've never felt anything like that for a boy.
When we had both been drunk, everything had been so easy. And when I woke up sober, I kind of..panicked. And so I've distanced myself from Merlin, to avoid dealing with my feelings. But it made things even more complicated.
6:25 A.M.
Merlin could be here any minute.
I was not gonna avoid him any longer. I was not gonna confess him my feelings either. I would simply try to be myself around him, and who knew, maybe some day things would work out for us and we'd get together.
But until now, this remained wishful thinking.
I decided not to tell him about me being bisexual yet. In fact I didn't think I'll tell anyone.
I took one last strong drag, taking in all the possible smoke and nicotine.
I threw the rest of the cigarette away, and put a mint on my tongue. I hated it when people's mouths smelled like cigarettes.
I looked up, and my eyes met the boy I'd been waiting for.
And damn he looked amazing.
