I'm Not Helpless |1|

Part Thirty Five

"But I want coffee..." Eliza complained to which Angelica rolled her eyes.

"Eliza you're pregnant, you can't have caffeine." Angelica repeated for what felt like the millionth time.

"But I miss it so much, I haven't had coffee in weeks and I can't drink any cocktails and Alexander thinks that if we have sex it will hurt the baby." She said with a groan.

"Well its not my fault your in love with an idiot."

"Oh shut up." Eliza said grumpily.

Angelica chuckled at her younger sisters antics, shaking her head softly as she finished cooking their scrambled eggs.

"You know it was your choice to keep the baby." She pointed out.

"I know, I know.... and I'm happy about all that, really, I am." Eliza started. "It's just I didn't realize there's so many things you can't do, and I'm always hungry! Why the hell am I so fucking hungry?!"

"Because you're pregnant, you're not just feeding yourself anymore." Her sister replied.

It was currently two in the morning, and neither Eliza or Angelica could sleep. Eliza couldn't sleep because the baby was kicking again and it made trying to sleep extremely difficult. And Angelica couldn't sleep because she couldn't stop worrying about Alexander. Sure he was a good guy, but, could he handle being a father? Could he be satisfied in a real relationship, in a family? That she wasn't sure of. She wouldn't ever tell Eliza any of this though. Her sister had been through far too much and had enough to worry about being pregnant and also an active member of the Washington campaign.

So Angelica held this worry deep within herself, though sometimes she felt she should say something. She didn't, she kept her worry's about Alexander as hidden as she could. Eliza, however, wasn't worried about Alexander. She was worried about herself. She knew Alex would make an amazing dad, she knew he would love their child more than anyone in this world possibly could. He has shared all secrets with her, and the one he never told anyone was that he wanted to have a family. In fact he had dreams of having a huge family. But Eliza, She was terrified. What if her baby didn't like her? Or even worse what if she didn't like her own baby? She'd heard of that happening and she couldn't stop thinking it will happen to her.

Eliza sighed, beside herself with worry, she ate the scrambled eggs her sister had made for her. As she ate her scrambled eggs, Angelica put all her meds in the trash and sink.

"Okay, I think I'm going to head to bed." She told her.

"Oh, okay... night Angie." Eliza said in between bites of her food.

"I'll see you in the morning."

"It is the morning." Eliza retorted with a small smile.

"Yeah, yeah, eat your food Ms. Preggo." Angelica slipped into her room after this and then there was silence.

Eliza didn't mind the silence, though most people did, she found it somehow soothing. She wasn't sure why. But she let it wash over her as she ate her food happily. That is until she heard a noise.

"Baby...?" It was Alexander, coming out their room in a campaign shirt and his boxers. "What are doing up?"

"I could ask you the same question." She responded as she focused on her eggs.

"Yeah but I'm not the one eating scrambled eggs at 2:30 in the morning." Alex pointed out, now standing next to Eliza.

"I just couldn't sleep..." she told him, looking down at her eggs as if to avoid eye contact with him.

"I see..." he said thoughtfully. He sat next to her and continued, "so what are you nervous about then?"

"What'd you mean?" She asked glancing over at him.

"Oh come on, I know you Eliza, I know when you're nervous."

She sighed softly unsure of how to explain her nerves to him. It would sound ridiculous to him. He was already so in love with their child and she was only three months pregnant. How would he react to this?

"I'm pregnant, I have a lot of things to be nervous about." She pointed out.

"Yeah, that's true..." he hummed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "But you can talk to me about them if you need, anything you need to talk about I'll be here to listen."

"It's okay Alex, I'm good." She said, immediately going back to eating her breakfast.

"Alright, if you say so." He said, leaning his cheek on his unoccupied hand as the other one carefully touched Eliza's hair.

"Aren't you going back to bed now?" Eliza asked after swallowing a fork full of eggs.

"Not until you are."

"Well what if I don't go back to bed?"

"Well then I guess neither am I." He said casually as if only as if getting only four hours of sleep was completely fine.

"You need to sleep Alexander."

"Well so do you, even more than me." He replied. "I'm not the one with a fetus to take care of."

"Well... well yeah, but I'm fine."

Alexander snorted, unable to believe what his girlfriend had just said. "Woooow, and I'm the dysfunctional one."

"I've never said you were dysfunctional." Eliza protested, setting down her fork as if in protest.

"I know that, but you're supposed to be the one who is calm and functional and without self destructing tendency's." He explained.

"And who decided this?"

"Well you have the functioning family and stable childhood, mine, just plain sucked."

"You don't know, my childhood could've been very unstable."

"Okay, Betsy, sweetie, was your childhood unstable?"

"Well no, but, that's not my point."

"I know what your point is baby, you don't need to make it."

"Yeah Okay..." She said softly.

"What I'm trying to say is, that you need to sleep." Alexander told her as she leaned into his hand.

"I can't sleep though... my brain is revolting against me." She complained quietly.

"Oh my poor girl." He said pressing his lips to her temple. "Come on I'll help you sleep."

"How?" She asked.

"Just come to with me and you'll see." He said to her, standing up.

"Why can't you just tell me?" She questioned, following his lead. "I think it'd be easier if you just told me."

"Oh Lizzy, don't you trust me?"

"Sometimes." She replied as he took her hand leading her back to their room.

"Well you should learn to trust me more, it might just pay off."

"I know, I know..." she said as they entered their room, and though they hadn't gotten as much sleep as they'd originally hoped.

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Word Count: 1117

Hey everyone, so I have a bit of an announcement. So I've decided that this book is going to come to a close. So far it's the longest fic I've ever written and I know that I don't want to stretch it out too much.

That being said, I am also planning on writing a sequel so the story will continue- just not this book. Anyways those aren't my only announcements, I am also planning on updating everyday until the book is done! I'm just so excited for you all to see what's coming next. And that's it on announcements.

I hope you all liked this chapter and until next time have a wonderful morning/afternoon/ evening!

~ Eliiizzaaa