𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 ✾ (𝐣𝐞𝐧𝐳𝐢𝐞)

TWENTY-FIVE !

DIFFERENT !

MACKENZIE REALLY THOUGHT SHE WAS going somewhere with her life for awhile. she'd thought that making new friends, being distracted by school and family, would help push away the urge to do anything that old kenzie would do.

she had never hated herself this much- before tonight, that is. the worst part is, that she didn't know what it was exactly. last time she checked, she kenzie was perfectly happy. it was like she was living in a book, it was so good. her crush had asked her out, she had a great reputation at school, and her grades were high. what could possibly go wrong?

nothing.

but yet, there she sat at two in the morning, curled up in a lawn chair on the family's front porch, lighting her sixth cigarette for the night, a bottle of Leinenkugels beer in the cup holder next to her. the sound of thunder sounded in the distance, however, there was no rain or lightning.

"kenz? yo, what in the hell?" mackenzie jumped at the sound of another voice around the corner.

"can i help you?" she was going for a more salty tone, but her voice just came out tired and worn.

a flashlight appeared in front of her face. "what are you doing? i thought," he paused, "i thought you quit," the boy looked down at the fired stick in her fingers.

she sniffed. "i'm sorry, noah. i know i promised you i'd stop."

"put it out," noah demanded.

"excuse me?"

"put it out," he repeated.

the girl shook her head in disbelief, forcing her newly washed hair to shake all over the wooden planks of her deck. "i heard you, asshat. you don't have the right to tell me to waste a perfectly good cigarette."

"'don't have the right', my ass," he grabbed the stick, threw it on the ground, and stepped on it. "i love you, kenzie. i don't want you getting sick."

it surprised mackenzie that she hadn't been crying already. not that it was a crying matter; she just cried whenever someone yelled at her. unlucky trait. "are you serious noah? leave," she pointed to her driveway.

"yeah? fine. goodbye, mackenzie," noah stomped down the steps, causing the entire porch to shake, and slammed his car door shut as he got into it. as he pulled alway, it started to sprinkle.

"gosh damnit," the girl whispered to herself, "my hair was drying." minutes after scooting under the section of the deck that was dry from being covered by the roof, she dozed off into a light sleep..

only to be woken up again by the sound of her deck creaking.

"noah, i told you to fucking leave," mackenzie groaned, her head dug into her large hoodie.

"oh?" johnny orlando replied, standing in front of his girlfriend.

"oh. hi johnny," she poked her head out of the sweatshirt. "why'd you come?"

"noah told me he was worried about you, but he knew you didn't want him around. he thought i could help." the thought of noah being so worried about mackenzie warmed her heart; not in any romantic way, but just the fact that she knew somebody genuinely cared for her well being. "so... can i help?"

"i don't need any help."

"'course you do, look at you, kenz," he sat in a red lawn chair next to her. "you're freezing, there's like eight beer bottles by you, and," johnny looked at the pack of cigarettes, "those."

"i'm going back to my old ways, john. i don't want to, but i cant stop," mackenzie said, her voice trembling as she shifted so she could look at the boy.

he shook his head, "no... no you're not."

"who are you to tell me what i can and can't do?" she crossed her arms over her chest. not in defense- but due to the fact that she was freezing.

"your boyfriend, kenzie. imagine. in ten years from now, we could have our own home. a family of our own. we could be getting together with nadia, and mandla, and maddie, annie, noah, and lauren every weekend with all of their families. we'd have bills to pay and stress, but at the end of the day, we'd always have each other, and that would make it worth it, you know? and if you keep doing this," he gestured to the poisonous objects around her, "that won't be an opportunity. instead, i'll be sitting in a hospital room, holding your hand, begging God to keep you alive for me," johnny wiped a tear. "please don't do that to us. i don't know what i'd do without you."

"it isn't that easy."

"i know, and i can help you. do you know how many people you have surrounding you that are willing to do anything to keep you here?" he grabbed the girl's hand.

"i know," she wiped her nose. "i'm such a freak. how are you supposed to like me, knowing i purposely fill my body with this junk?"

"you know, i thought you were perfect even when you were different than all of us. that isn't ever going to change. i hope you realize that i don't think you're weird for being addicted. i just want to keep you safe, that's all," johnny pecked her hand.

"i don't know if i'm correct, or if this is the right time. but johnny, i think i just fell in love."

KARLEIGH SPEAKS !
hi this took forever to write and i know it's easter weekend so y'all are probs busy but pls don't let it flop skskkxnsjd