This Ain't a Love Song//Nikki Sixx

Chapter 7: Wild Side

*Warnings for violence and assault*

A few days have passed since mine and Nikki's date. I think things have been okay between us, but he has been acting a little strange. He's been staying up even later, spending more time in the bathroom, even staying out later. I'm really worried about him, but the guys have said that they haven't noticed anything. He starts physical therapy tomorrow, which wasn't recommended so soon by his doctor, but he's so stubborn.

He also hasn't told me that he loves me since our date, which I'll admit, kind of hurts, but, I know I probably hurt him too. Since it went a little like this, "You love me?" "You seem upset? I didn't mean to upset you, or weird you out." "No- no! I just... I have a hard time with emotions, expressing emotions. I'm... scared... I feel the same though! I think. I just always expect the worst. I don't want to get my hopes up just to be let down. My trust in others sucks, you know all of this... I'm sorry." "Mel, you're okay, I'll never hurt you, I hoped that you would be able to trust me, but we can work on it, okay? I just want you to know that I love you, and you mean the world to me."

Maybe he just doesn't want to push it on me, or something. But, I of course get to have another thing to have anxiety about on top of everything else. I did finally get the rest of my things from my apartment while Nikki and the boys are in the studio. Handing in my keys was hard, I didn't expect that chapter of my life to end so quickly. It's as if my life has become a short story book since moving here. Everything happens with the blink of an eye, it's just so different from what I'm used to.

And now, dad told me that he has met a woman, and he wants me and Nikki to meet her/them since Nikki hasn't formally met dad yet. I don't know exactly how he'll feel about that, but there's no harm in asking, I guess.

"Babe, I'm home!" Nikki yells.

"Also, me!" Tommy yells.

Shit. Now, I have to wait until later to tell Nikki about my dad... yay. Tommy is awesome and all, but when those two are together, they are fucking crazy.

"Dude, I have some blow for us." I hear Tommy ramble in the kitchen.

"No dude, I've got something better for that. It's been helping my shoulder pain, and it is so much better than coke."

What? I knew he was on something!

"Hey guys" I say while walking into the kitchen.

"Hey, baby." Nikki smiles and gives me a kiss.

"Hey, do I get a kiss too?" Tommy asks.

I burst out laughing.

"No, I'm being serious." He places his hand on his hip, looking like an expectant mother.

"Shut up you idiot." Nikki chuckles.

"Sooo, what are you two up to?" I pry.

"We were talking about a party tonight, and we're gonna get high then watch some TV, you in?" Nikki asks.

"Sure, why not? Unless I'll ruin your guy time." "You're just like one of the guys, don't worry." Tommy smiles.

I don't know if I exactly want to be "like one of the guys" but, I guess beggars can't be choosers.

"Try this with us, Mel, it's so much better than blow." Nikki says.

I eye the baggie with suspicion. "What is it?"

"It's smack." He says matter of factly.

Me and Tommy look at him like he's lost his fucking mind.

My stomach churns at the thought. "Nikki... You've been doing heroin? Where did you even get that?"