This Ain't a Love Song//Nikki Sixx

Chapter 28: Maybe it's Time

Trigger warnings: attempted sexual assault and suicide implications

Melody

3 AM was the earliest flight Vince could book for me. So, here I am, waiting for my flight at 2:50 am while I am running on 2 hours of sleep. I'm dreading everything about today; I wish all of this were just a bad dream. I want to wake up in Nikki's arms, even after every horrible thing he has said to me. I still want to be with him like the dumbass that I am.

"Hey, mind if I sit here?" I look up where the voice came from to see Mick standing in front of me.

"What are you doing here?" I ask with a small smile.

"It didn't sit right with me that you were going to travel all alone, and I need to go back home anyway, so I figured I would tag along." He shrugs.

"That's nice of you, I appreciate that."

"It's no problem. I told you that I've got your back. But, we better head to the terminal now though, it's almost time for our flight."

As soon as he says that, they call our flight, and we walk with the other mindless zombies to the terminal. Home sweet home, here we come.

--

"Melody, you have mail!" Mallory calls to me from downstairs.

I quickly go down to get it, trying to not drop my laundry basket on the way down.

"Thank you." I say and grab the envelope with my teeth, placing the basket in the laundry room.

I load up my things in the washer then pick up the envelope, which is a letter from my dad, Dave. I haven't been in contact with him for 4 months now. I'm shocked he's sent a letter. I rip it open and read it as I walk to the kitchen and sit down.

"Dear Melody, I hope this gets to you since I am not sure of your whereabouts right now. Nikki told me about you two breaking up, I'm sorry to hear that; I did like you two together. Well, I liked you two when he was treating you right. Anyway, I just wanted to see how you were doing, hopefully you'll call me or send a letter back. I'm sorry that I upset you. I just want you to be happy. I have always wanted what is best for you. If you're getting along with your birth father, that's great and I am happy for you. I just hope you could find a place in your life for me. Also, me and Maria have big news to share. Love always, dad."

Maybe I should get back into calling him, I need to get things together. I'm a new me since Nikki and I broke up. I was hard, but that was nearly three months ago now... It's been a long three months. Mallory moved in with Mick, which meant I also moved in with Mick, because they both insisted. It's been really cool getting to see this side of him that I have never seen before, loving and fun and just chill.

I have also seen the depressed side of him, it just happens completely out of the blue. He has days where he won't even leave his bed, it's sad, but Mallory is always by his side, even on those days. I've been trying to hide how I feel from the both of them, I don't let them know that I'm not taking my anti-depressants or anxiety medicine and I hide my drug habits from them. I work at a bar, so it's really easy to get the drugs and hide it.

I have thought about picking up modeling again, but I feel so fucking disgusting; my mental health is the lowest it has been in a while. I don't want to get out of bed, I don't want to live, I don't want this life. I'm so fucking lucky to have what I have, but I'm still depressed, and that makes me feel even worse. Half of the time, I feel like I'm on the verge of a mental break down, just teetering on the cliffs edge, hoping I don't fall. It's been getting easier to hide when I'm high, couple months of that gives you really good practice.