Powerless {A.K.}

20.

"We need to talk."

"Hey you're quoting your songs now. I thought you'd forget i-"

"What the fuck was that about?" His voice raised and i flinch, gritting my teeth.

"What was what about?" I question, looking up at his expression. His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes narrowed down at me. I had never seen this side of him. Jealousy.

"Nick. The laughing. The jokes. The touching. The way he fucking watched you walk out. The look in his eyes when you smiled at him. Do you even love me? Fuck Tori. Am i even what you want?" He bursts out, rambling. I'm taken back, trying to process it all.

"Awsten i-"

"I've gotta go." He stomps away and goes into his bus, slamming the door. Jawn looks at me and sighs.

"Im sorry." He says before walking onto the bus.

I push back my thoughts and go onto the bus, afraid to make the situation worse. I climb into my bunk and close the curtain, hiding myself from the world.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

"Tori you've been playing your sad 2000's songs playlist as loud as possible for 2 hours. What's going on?" Alex says, poking his head through the curtain. I sigh, taking my headset off.

"I'm okay." I force a smile and he frowns.

"You are so full of shit. Let me in. We're having a therapy session." He says and i scoot over in the bunk, letting him crawl in beside me and plop down. He lays on his side to face me and i turn onto my side to look at him.

"So, what's up?"

"Awsten is mad at me and I don't really know what i did wrong. He yelled at me outside the bus and ignored me the entire time after the flight and i just-"

"Tori, babe, breathe. You didn't do anything wrong. He's like any guy. He gets jealous. Maybe just worse than others. I think he's just jealous that you got so close to Nick and didn't spent time with him. He cares about you. He's just... complicated."

"He doesn't think i want him.." I mutter, sighing.

"You do want him, right?"

"More than anything."

"Then don't let him go." Alex says, pulling me into a hug. I snuggle into the embrace and nod into his chest.

I missed this. I missed my family. I missed the feeling of feeling so entirely comfortable that i can say anything and know I'll be okay. Part of me felt like i had to force myself to act perfect with the parx boys. I felt like kinda lost in a way. Like a part of me had to get left behind.

I loved being around Waterparks. Geoff was protective and had father instincts, quite literally considering he is a father. Otto was like a little brother in a way. Soft spoken and kind hearted. Awsten was so different from anything I've ever had. He was colorful but dark. He was loud and happy but so contained and reclusive. He was everything and nothing all at once. It was so complicated yet simple.

"Alex?"

"Yes dearest?"

"Am i making a bad decision?"

"Do you think you are?"

"I'm not sure."

"Maybe thats a good thing."

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

Everything was set up for the show except for one thing. My plan. I had spent the past 5 hours thinking. I knew exactly what i needed to do. I was going to put it into Awsten's hands and make him figure out if we were worth it.