Powerless {A.K.}

43.

× AWSTEN'S POV ×

I stared out at all the people who were  arriving and my heart tensed more and more as the crowds began to grow. I always had pre-show anxiety but this was different. This was my friends and family watching the most memorable moment of my life so far. This was different from singing for strangers, this was personal. Of course I felt a personal connection with my fans, they mean a lot to me. But this was so very different.

The rows of chairs were beginning to get filled as the autumn breeze blew through the crispy leaves that scattered along the grass. The lacey thin white curtains flowed along with the wind and the lights turned on as it began to slowly grow closer to sun set.   Kids ran around playing in the leaves and I couldn't help but think about Lucas. It was so hard to just let it go and not think about it.

I couldn't understand how calm Tori was over this. I felt like my heart was beating out of my chest. I felt as though anyone within 5 miles could hear it thumping rapidly. I took in a deep breath of the cold air and let it back out, trying to calm down.

"The set up is beautiful. Who designed it?" My mom asks, standing beside me.

"Well, we all did in a way. Lisa, Alex's wife, is a wedding planner and she had the idea of the curtain things. Tori and I wanted to do an outdoors wedding and Jack decided to do-"

"Speaking of Tori, where is she?" She cuts me off, looking around.

"Don't ask me. I haven't seen her since Lynn stole her this morning."

"The wedding is still happening, right?" Gracie asks and my mom frowns.

"Don't ask that! Your brother is already nervous enough. But the wedding is still happening though, right?"

"Yes mom. I- I gotta go okay?" I say, running inside the house. I locked the door to the bathroom and slide down to the floor.

"Cold feet?" A voice asks from the shower and I jump out of fear.

"Fucking Christ hello." I laugh, looking over at the bathtub. Jack was laying in the tub, hiding from everyone like I was.

"What's going on?" He asks, turning to face me.

"Everyone here is judging me. I can feel it. They don't like my hair or my nose or my shoes or even me. I can feel it Jack. They are all judging me."

"But you deal with this every day."

"It's different. Most people judge me based on my songs, not my choice in wife. Ya know?"

"Yeah, I get it. But here's the thing. You won't see any of then again unless you want to. You're not required to talk to anyone here unless you want to. It's your wedding too."

"What if I fuck things up?"

"You won't."

"How are you so sure?"

"I'm not. But you won't fuck it up. I won't fuck it up. No one is going to fuck it up."

"Thanks Jack.."

"You're welcome. Now let's get out of here before someone thinks we fucked."

"Good idea." I laugh, helping him out of the tub. We leave the bathroom and I see the tail end of a white dress and my heart drops.