Fancy A Quickie?

Moron

I SAW him staring at me. Literally, whenever his girlfriend looked in the opposite direction he pretended to look at the bar, but he was looking at me.

Then she decided to go outside with her girlfriends for a cigarette so he conveniently needed a drink and the only place he could possibly stand was next to me.

He leaned over the bar, placing his hand on my shoulder for alleged balance, and used the opportunity to initiate conversation.

He said I looked amazing, that my eyes were the most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen, how he didn't understand how I wasn't fighting off the guys.

All the while he was staring into my eyes and smiling at nothing. He was edging ever closer to me, almost leaning into me.

Then his girlfriend returned and gave me the filthiest looks I've ever seen. He scurried after her like a desperate dog and they whispered lots and she spent the rest of the night gossiping about me to her friends and giving me the evils. As if the problem was with me and not with her arrogant arsehole of a boyfriend.

All I want to do is scream, "Your boyfriend is a scumbag. He will flirt with anything. Are you a fucking moron?"

But instead I sip my drink and talk to my friends and feel safe in the knowledge that yeah, I'm single, and it's bloody amazing because I don't have to deal with dicks like him.

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