Hard Feelings

Seven

// Why Do You Care //

Wednesday rolled around again, and class was not cancelled and there was no replacement sitting at Nate's desk. Alex was prepared for Nate's return. Alex had everything in place and planned her next move to help Nate. She believed she knew what he needed. She also believed she was the one that had to do it.

Nate walked in, still looking sad, but better than before. He was still not himself, and this had upset Alex. The class had still been uneventful and lifeless. Nate usually had a fun and bright class, but it was unfortunately that same gray and gloomy that had seemed to correspond well with his mood. Alex thought it to be like when you have jury duty and expect to be an exciting high-profile debate, but instead, just the lawyers standing and reading out monotonously about the case and a bunch of legal jargon. Nate was not himself and the rest of the class mirrored him and his depression.

Class ended, and Alex was leaving. She was near the last crowd of students to leave, almost like she had been trying to go unnoticed. Alex doesn't go by unnoticed. Her trying to sneak out makes her more noticeable and intriguing and she knew it.

"Alex, do you want to stay behind a moment please."

Alex turned and walked over to where Nate was sat, behind a desk. She had let her hair fall across her face, hiding it slightly from his view. He studied her for a moment, both of them were caught there, just staring at each other. A student had slammed the door on accident, and the tension that had built was gone.

Both had whipped their heads to the door from the slamming. Alex's hair flew away from her face and Nate looked back at her in surprise, which had quickly morphed into anger.

"What the hell happened?"

Sheepishly, Alex looked anywhere but at Nate.

"Alex, I'm serious, who the fuck did this?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." A lie.

"Don't play games with me Alex. You were the one that wanted me to care about you."

"Are you trying to accuse me of something?"

"Damnit Alex!" His flat palm had struck the table and Alex jumped slightly. Perfectly playing the scared girl.

Nate got up and closed the distance between them. Alex had not anticipated that he would have cared about her as much as he had yet. She believed he was still grieving. She though that maybe Tyler's death made him realize that if he wants something, he should not waste time. Although this was her plan, to make him start to care for her, she just had not expected her plan to work as it had. Alex especially did not expect it after the experience he went through.

Nate's hand startled Alex out of her thoughts as it landed on her cheek. His fingers just barely brushing across the blackish, blue, and purple bruise that had been neatly placed under her right eye.

Alex backed away from his hand. "Fine, okay. It was a guy at the bar on the weekend."

"What guy?"

"Does it matter?"

"Alex..." He was warning her, clearly, he had lost his patience.

"Okay, it was the same one from a couple weeks ago... But before you get all pissy, I handled it."

"Oh yeah, it sure looks like you handled it well."

"Fuck you too then."

"Have you seen your face?"

"Ha-ha, hilarious Nate. There is a saying 'wait until you see the other guy'."

"Oh yeah, he's so much worse, is he?"

"Once again Nate, I've told you I can handle myself."

"Did you really go back to the same bar alone after last time?"

"I can go wherever I want. No one should be allowed to stop me from going somewhere that I like."

"Maybe it's more common sense?"

"I don't want to argue with you about this. I was scared, okay? I didn't want to be in that position again, but I was. Stop making it sound like it's my fault. I know it was stupid, and maybe I shouldn't have gone alone, but I just wanted some time to myself. Life hasn't been easy on me recently and I'm trying to recover. And you are not helping right now."

"Oh, so it's my fault now?"

"I didn't mean it that way."

"Then how did you mean it?"

"I meant that the fact I care for my teacher is not a good thing... for either of us. I know you already stated your lack of interest and care or whatever, and I know you would never want me like that but–"

Nate's hand went to Alex's lips and had completely covered her mouth. The roughness of his hand rubbed her lips and she had felt a sense of happiness and pleasure with his touch. She had felt triumphant. Finally, she was starting to get her way, just like she knew she would.

"Alex, I care for you. I care for you a hell of a lot more than I should. I didn't care about you that first time in class when you had approached me, and I didn't care about you that time you missed our meeting. I feel bad about this one, but I also didn't care when you were in my office crying. Even when I told you I was attracted to you, I didn't really care. But something happened between that Friday afternoon and when I saw you at the bar that night. I don't really know or understand how much I care for you, but I know that I do."

Her heart raced as she heard his words. This was what she had wanted, this is what she was trying to make happen. Everything she had done had paid off in Alex's mind.

She just stared at him. Alex did not want to say something to scare him off after he had just admitted that he had cared for her.

"I'm not really sure what to say."

"Don't say anything."

Tingles had run through Alex as Nate had gotten impossibly close to her. Her eyes fluttered closed, her breath was purposely ragged. Nate's was too. She felt a warmth that had spread throughout her body. Possibly it was from getting what she had wanted, and possibly it was from the actual comfort Nate had seemed to bring to her.

The next thing Alex knew, the warmth was gone, and Nate had practically sprinted to the door. Alex looked at his back, but Nate did not turn around. She watched him have some sort of internal battle with himself. A familiar déjà vu settled over Alex as Nate's hand hovered over the door handle once again. This time she had hope that he would lock the door instead of leaving her alone in the same classroom a second time.

"I'm sorry Alex, but I can't do this." And he was gone.

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oof, so he cares now....

Hope ya'll had a good day!

~Lyss