Hard Feelings

Eight

// Let Go //

Alex did not want to go home because she was angry. She hated the way that as soon as Nate would get close to her, he would just pull back. He would literally be so close to her. Almost touching, and then pull back as soon as he realized how tempted he was to finally cross the invisible line he had made. Alex was frustrated, especially knowing that he did care, but was still strong enough to pull away from her. She had more work ahead of her and she was displeased. This had never been so hard for her. Why would it?

Alex caught guys so easily which is no surprise. Alex though, did not care for the way people admired her shiny brown hair, her brown eyes that seemed golden in the sun. She only cared about people noticing that she was the smartest person in the room. It did not matter about what people thought she looked like as long as they knew she was something superior to them.

This was never hard, but Alex had become frustrated that Nate was able to walk away. It did not seem to be an easy task for him, but he still did it ever so confidently. Alex had a hard time taking no as an answer, and Nate's indirect 'no' had frustrated Alex past the point of mild irritation. She was angered by it and she planned to make that known.

Alex had made her way towards Nate's office where she watched him as he locked the door and made his way out of the building. Alex was not going to make this a spectacle for the entire student body and faculty to witness. That was not something that was below her, but she knew it was below Nate, and she wanted him to feel guilty, not mad.

"Wait! Nate!"

Alex jogged to pretend she needed to catch up with him. As if she had not been following him this entire time.

"Alex, no. Just no. I can't do this."

"What do you mean you can't do this?"

"Alex, please, just stop."

"Stop what Nate?"

"Making me want you."

"And why is that my fault."

"You don't get it! I'm not blaming you damn it!"

"Well it sure seems like you are!"

"Fuck Alex. I'm not. I'm losing my control around you and I can't fucking do that. I'm trying to make you want to stay away from me."

"Well you're not doing a very good job."

Nate breathed out through his nose heavily. His eyes closed and a small smile graced his face. "You know you always seem to say the right thing."

"A specialty of mine." Alex said sarcastically and made a little bow. She knew it was the truth though. She was a master at saying what others wanted to hear.

The pair had stood in front of his car for a while. Alex was just enjoying Nate's presence and that he was falling and him walking away was his last defence. Nate seemed to be in contemplation of his options.

Nate sighed and Alex realized he would be saying a goodbye soon if she did not speak up. "So, how are you?" Nate just watched her. "You know... it hasn't been that long since..."

"Since Tyler. I know."

"Mhm, well I'm just asking, not trying to bring anything back up."

"Alex, I took my time to grieve and heal."

"Okay."

"Okay."

Silence had filled the space that occupied around the two. The sun was shining, and it was clear that spring was coming. Nate seemed to have basked in the glory of the warming weather while Alex was uninterested in the upcoming days that would glow bright.

"Alex?"

"Mm?"

"Come for a drive with me."

The non-question question had thrown Alex off guard. She had been waiting for him to make the first move. Alex had been making the first move since the day they met and trying to make it seem like she wasn't. Even for Alex it was exhausting. She had never gone for someone that was so challenging to get. She loved the chase and Nate had presented an awfully good chase too, but she was tiring of the chase taking too long.

"Why?"

"Does it really matter why?"

"A little."

"Alex you want me to care and I do. Come for a drive."

"Are we going somewhere?"

"Aren't we always?"

"Don't get all philosophical like that."

"Alex, maybe it's because I like spending time with you, and I shouldn't be doing it at the one place where I'll get in shit for it."

Alex did not say anything else, she just began to walk away from him. Nate had a look of disappointment and surprise. He turned to watch her, and his stoic face brightened, and a smile graced his lips. Alex had not walked away to leave, she walked away to get into his vehicle. She had stood, her hand on the passenger door handle as she waited for him to unlock the car.

"You may need to unlock the door for me to get in."

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I don't know bout you, but I'm happy Alex is making progress.

Love yourselves and stay happy 

~Lyss