Middle of Everything

CHAPTER 1 : Death

Dying is everyone's fear, especially when you realized that you will lose someone that is really important to you. It is also the most painful experience a man will ever encounter in their lives. But death can't be avoided, one of us will sooner or later die. Maybe by accident, a terminal decease, a natural event or by ending yourself.

You'll never know when or how it will take you. Others believe that if you die you will go to heaven or hell, depending on your status of what you've done in life. Well, on the other hand, some say if you die you will be reincarnated. While on science, yes science always starts with theoretically and scientifically proof but they don't believe in all the stuff I say. If you die you die. That's it! No other explanation. So what do you think? Do you believe to all the stuff I say? Well if you ask me, I believe that there is existence from above. That there is a heaven and a God. So what do you believe in, science or religion? But what if you realized that all these things I've just said aren't true at all, no heaven, no hell, no reincarnation, and certainly no science. And you just learned that this day will be the last day of your life. What are you going to do before the last 5 minutes of your beating heart?

February 2, Thursday, that day I've been sitting at the hospitals' corridor near the outpatient area with faded white paint, stained tile floors and noisy television that no one is watching. I've been sitting there for a while trying to listen to the footsteps of every paramedic's wheeling inpatient on trollies. I can hear some screams, moans, and hisses of pain which is great for me, it is like a distraction or a dilemma to my situation.

Then I notice an old man sitting at the corner in his wheelchair facing my direction. He is staring at me for quite some time. Maybe he is thinking that I am wasting money because I haven't been drinking the soda that I bought from the vending machine that I've been holding in my hands for a while now. My hands are really wet not because of the moist the can is losing. It is sweating because of my head feeling a snap of pain from its vein and my heart is beating too fast than its usual beat.

I think it is losing some calories so it is beating really fast, but who am I kidding. I am really nervous I guess that's why I am sweating. Then I remember that my parents are waiting for me for quite some time. They are already inside my doctor's room when I decided to excuse myself, now come to think of it I guess I need to go back to them before they started to get worried but I think it is not bad to take more time to be alone, a little longer, and just a moment with no interruption.

As I breathe in slowly taking more time to ease my mind. My head brought me to another place forgetting the world behind me imagining every single person passing by and they are having a good time of their life just like I do. Then a voice snaps me from my thoughts and there goes my brother, John, calling my name. "Aeric!" he said, his voice is trembling I guess "the doctor is waiting, let's go". I guess time is already up. I stand and put the unopened soda on the chair and leave it right there, hoping that some thirsty man can see it and drink it because it is still clean and safe to drink. Then I look at the old man looking at me with dismay.

As we headed to my Doctor's room I look around seeing different kinds of people with different sorts of problem. I hate going to hospitals actually because first: you are sick when you're at the hospital, second: I don't like seeing drops of blood, third: I feel sick when I saw other people with a dying condition or a patient that is dead already. But I can't just go home and escape here. I need to go to the hospital because of my first idea. And now I'm afraid that maybe I'm sick because I'll be part of my third idea, I hope not.

The truth is I am really sick. Like hell kind of sick. We've visited a lot of hospitals lately because of my sickness but none of them know what my disease is all about. So here we are in our last option that my uncle told my parents to go.