Middle of Everything

CHAPTER 3 : Red Bracelet and a Butterfly

Ms. PJ McGrath

I will never forget that name. After trying to kill myself that night she never left me. She stood by my side for the whole night. I can't even forget that night, that incident. Parisa and I head down to the bridge where I plan to end myself. We were too quiet to speak. None of us tries to break the silence because we knew it is nearly breaking to make a word out of it. We knew that one word can make things worse or make everything lighter.

For a while, I sit next to her and I can smell her scent like flowers on a hill. Her hair flowing along with the breeze and her star-like eyes are looking from far away. That night is quite terrifying like everything is breaking but with her, my soul suddenly calms down. I can still hear some city noises but the silence is too loud not to notice. The wind is moving the river slowly and making a relaxing sound. And the lights above makes a beautiful shades under us. Then as I look up, I notice a tiny red light flashing above the sky moving away from the clouds. I think it is a plane.

"Like a fairy," she said while watching the red light move away from the clouds. "That is what my name means." She looked at me then smile.

"Like a fairy riding on a butterfly," I replied.

"What?" she asked confused.

"Julia is an orange and black butterfly that mostly found in tropical regions."

"Oh," she said weirdly "I see."

Then we both laugh and finally break the silence. This laughter lights up our emotion for a bit. She made me realized that I still need to live. For a while, we never stop telling jokes and sharing stories but we can't avoid the fact that what I've done is a serious matter.

For quite some time I've been looking at her and not caring about the time. But I know she wanted to ask me about what I've done. I can see in her eyes that she is still terrified. Then like a blurry dejavu I remember someone with that kind of eyes. Worried, scared and weak but still trying to mask it with bravery. I want to talk more and ask her but then as I check my phone that is when I realized that I missed a lot of call from my parents.

"You alright?" she asked.

"Yes, I am," I smiled "it's just, uh, I guess I haven't noticed the time."

"I think so." She exclaimed.

"Hey, Parisa," I paused "why did you save me?"

"Uhm- "she hesitated.

Her face looked down and play with her red bracelet on her right wrist. She shrugged and breathes heavily. Then she smiles but before she even replies back that is when I realized one thing so I cut her off.

"That bracelet," I blurted "where did you get that?"

When I was a little kid, honestly, I am more of an introvert kid who sees peace and enjoyment playing alone than having friends around. I love listening to music my mother used to play every Sunday morning after her weekly grocery shopping. I play while she was busy arranging all the stuff she bought and sometimes she let me help her too.

Every weekday when my parents are at work, I usually visit my grandparents so they could babysit me for the whole day. Actually, my grandparents live just 2 blocks away from our street so it is really easy to visit them anytime. So, in short, I don't need other kids to entertain me. I have my parents and grandparents to play with.

But then the day comes when I need to go out away from my comfort zone. I realized that I need to share my lunch and play with my crayons along with the other kids. Hang out with them even we don't even know each other. Talk to older people that I don't even see all the time. And that is why it frightens me on my first day in pre-school that I can't let my mother go away. Because 1: I'm not sure if I will see her again and 2: being a child and having your parents with you all the time is a big change to us that scares us to hell if they suddenly decided to leave us in this new environment. So I cry and cry and cry like a boy that lost his toy. Then my mother looks at me and smile. She bent her knees, mess my hair and wipe my tears. She unties a red bracelet on her right wrist and put it to mine.