Middle of Everything

CHAPTER 13 : Playlist and Movie

That day Parisa wears a simple white cotton top, light blue pants, and a white keds shoe. Her scent is usual as before, fresh sweet muffin and flowery garden that still makes me feel calm. She also curls her hair and damn she looks like Venus the goddess of beauty.

She doesn't use her car that day and just takes the train instead. She put her earphones and listen to the playlist we make before as she waits for the train arrival.

"What are you doing Mister?" She asks as she removes my earphones from the left ear.

"Hey, Your home early," I said as I kiss her on her cheek. She looks at my computer as she put the earphone on her right ear and smile.

"This is nice," she hummed as she follows the song playing.

"It is a playlist."

"Playlist?" she exclaimed, "you finally doing it?"

"Yeah, like what I promise you."

"Yey!" she cheered. I can see her smile as wide as she can. She hugs me as tight as she can and that night we cuddle as our playlist play.

"So what do you want to call it?"

"Call what?"

"Our cuddle time, no, our playlist you dummy!"

The train arrives and then she smiles as she reminisces that day.

"Train ride," she whisper. That is what we call our playlist. Train ride. September 12 to be precise 11 in the evening. We are standing in an empty station at Pureza waiting for the last train. We stand there hold hands observing the noise of the night. The car honking, the people walking below us, the lights flashing from here and there and there we are listening to a tune we heard for the first time. The title of the song is Nashville. It is like a country-pop type of song. And how the singer sing it makes us feel this certain emotion. We feel calm and joyful. She then looks at me and I know we both have this idea.

"Let's make a playlist." We both say it together in choro.

She arrives at the mall we used to visit before. The place changes a lot and now the back part of the mall where before is a small park, now is a huge condominium that is connected to the mall. She head first to the bookstore I usually visit every time we went to this mall. She enters the place like she is trying to remember everything we do together.

'Is this what she wants?' that is my thoughts that day.

I know this is hard for her but I know she needs this. After she stands there for a while looking for some books I don't know. She then smiles as she picks up the book I really wanted to buy before the accident.

"Finally," she said as she grabs her purse and buys for the book.

"Are you okay princess?" Mr. McGrath texted Parisa.

"Dad I'm fine don't worry, thanks for forcing me." She replied with a kiss emoji.

She is now standing in a line in the cinema carrying a box of popcorn and a large cup of diet soda. She inhales really deep as she tries to choose what movie to watch. Then she whispers, "Ae, baby what should I choose?"

"Why me?" I said as she looks at me trying to look cute.

"Because you are good in choosing a movie."

"Girls." I joked.

"Oh c' mon!" she giggled.

This time I can't choose. I just watch her and wait for her to pick a movie.

'Sorry baby' I replied even I know she can't hear me.

After thinking for a long time she now picks a movie. The movie she picks is La la land. She buys two tickets as she heads to the counter. After that, she remembers she is all alone. She stands there in the middle of the crowd looking tirelessly at the movie tickets.

She stood there for a couple of second but tries to cheer herself up. She enters the cinema 8 at the end part of the mall where few people visit. She seated in the middle part of the cinema and on the other hand, I seated on the right side of her sit.

She is scared. I can tell. Her hands are shaking as she grips her right hands of the armrest. That moment I know can touch her for a couple of seconds to use it. I put my hand on top of her hand and after doing that her shaking stopped. She inhales slowly and closes her eyes for a second. 'Thanks, baby' she whispers. I smile knowing that she knows that I am guarding her.

The movie turned out to be musical which apparently is one of the movies Parisa hate-watching. She finds the musical movie very unrealistic and too cheesy to watch. I thought for a second that she will leave the room but it turned out different. She finished the movie which sometimes doesn't happen to us.

Then suddenly she burst into crying as the movie end.

I watch her as she tries to fix herself up. I watch her every single time as possible as I can. Those days of watching, seeing her smile then cry, see her grieves and laugh and just doing nothing it makes me wish to go back and regret on leaving her. But right now I just can't do anything. All I can do is watch her until I find a way to go back and be with her. I still wonder what is the end of this punishment. Maybe there is no answer but I will figure something out and escape this agonizing world where I am stuck right now. All I can do is wait and have long patience.