Need You | The Dirt ✓

8 | I Can't Do This Anymore

Finally I finished moving all of my belongings to the tour bus because these fuckers set fire to my brothers room. I hated being stuck on a small bus with these assholes but at least everyone was asleep in their bunks. I liked when I got time to myself because it was very rare. At the moment I was going over one of the papers Doc gave me to review.

"Midnight gettin' uptight where are you

You said you'd meet me now it's quarter to two I know I'm hangin' but I'm still wantin' you" I sing to myself scanning the paper

"Hey Jack it's a fact they're talkin' in town
I turn my back and you're messin' around
I'm not getting jealous don't I like lookin' like a clown" I fix a mistake I catch on the paper.

"I think of you every night and day
You took my heart then you took my pride away" I sing getting a little louder.

"I hate myself for loving you. Can't break free from the the things that you do. I wanna walk but I run back to you that's why I hate myself for loving you"

"I didn't know you could sing." I was startled by Nikki taking a seat next to me. "I don't sing." I lie looking at the papers even though I finished them. "I'm not stupid Mel, I just heard you." He bumps my shoulder and I hide my face. "I know I'm bad, can you not make fun of me." He turns my head to face him. "You aren't bad at all Melissa. If you were I would have said, Bitch stop killing the cat." He says making me laugh.

"What are you doing up anyways?" He asks looking at the stack of papers. "Doc gave me some papers to look over." I fix them, setting them to the side. "What are you doing up?" I ask leaning back against the seat. "Can't sleep right, I keep waking up so I can't fall asleep." He does the same as me. "Well talking to me will probably make you want to go back to sleep." I laugh and he shakes his head. "Nah, I like talking to you Mel." He rested his head on my shoulder. "You know, maybe if you dickheads didn't set fire to my brothers hotel room... You could fall asleep faster in a hotel bed." I quietly chuckle. "Yeah, you got a point there but like you already know we aren't the smartest dickheads." He chuckles too.

"You are too good to be with this band. You could actually be doing something with your life rather than dealing with our bullshit." I looked down at Nikki who was looking up at me. "You're not wrong but since I was eight I've been with Mick." I sigh looking out the window. "It's always been just the two of you. You don't know what to do alone." He mumbles and I take forever to answer then I notice he fell asleep. Are you kidding me? Now I'm stuck like this! I had no choice but to fall asleep this way too. I rest my head against the window and fall asleep.

"Should we wake them up?" I hear Vince ask aloud. "Yes, they don't need to be that close. Plus Mick will kill him." Tommy says making my eyes flutter open. "Good morning beautiful." Vince says putting a bottle of water on the table. "Thank you." I say waking up Nikki, whose arms were around my waist. "You were right talking to you would make me tired." Nikki said standing up walking to the bathroom giving Tommy access to sit next to me as Doc and Mick walked in.

"I finished the papers last night." I let Doc know and he gives me a smile. "Thank you, guys y'all's rooms are 406 to 410." Doc takes the papers walking back out the bus. "How did you even sleep like that and not get uncomfortable?" Tommy asks, laying his head on my shoulder now. "Oh it was uncomfortable." I rest my head on his head still tired. We grab our stuff and the hotel takes it to take to our rooms. I get in the elevator with the guys and as we go up, the three get the idea to put their asses against the glass. Nikki bangs on the glass to get a family's attention. I sigh as they laugh pulling their pants up. As soon as we reach our floor I rush to my room to be alone.

While I was trying to get ready for bed, for the music video shooting tomorrow I heard the guys laughing loudly in the halls. I peak my head outside of my door to see Nikki and Vince running away from something. "What the he- FUCK!" Nikki picks me up, throwing me over his shoulder and continues to run. I notice that Tommy was running around in his underwear getting chased by the cops. Both Nikki and Vince burst into Doc's room making him pissed. "What did you idiots do now?" He asks as Tommy runs past the door causing Doc to follow him.

Nikki puts me down so him and Vince can go through Doc's stuff for a line. "I fucking hate you guys so much." I say beginning to walk to the door but Nikki stops me. "Have fun babe." He whispers in my ear pushing me against the wall. "Fuck off Sixx. Can't you just leave me alone?" I shove him off me going back to my room locking the door to make sure none of them can get in.

~

Recently Vince told me about this girl he met and I told him if he really is serious about her ask her out. "I'm thinking about asking her to move in with me." Vince says surprising me but I was happy for him. "I'm so happy for you Vince!" I hug him as we sit in the booth where the boys usually get their blow job from that one girl.

I see her coming our way crawling under the table. Great, I'm stuck between Nikki and Tommy. I feel her bump into my leg getting in front of Nikki. As soon as the drinks hit the table I down mine causing eyes to look at me. "You good Mel?" Tommy asks me. "Yeah, just thought I'd loosen up some." I smile at the table. The more I heard Nikki get sucked I downed all the shots. "Melissa, I think you should stop." Mick says but I refuse to stop chugging my beer.

"Mötley Crüe, You all all alright?" A man asked, walking up to the table and none of us knew who he was. "Oh Razzle, Hanoi Rocks." He introduces himself to the group. "What's up man." Tommy says, giving him a handshake. Nikki tells the man to have a seat and he sits next to Vince. He was startled by the blow job girl at first but then relaxed. "I fucking love America." He says making both Nikki and Tommy go wild making me flinch as they threw their arms up.

"Melissa, can we talk." Doc walks up to the table and Tommy moves so I can get out. We both walk outside and sit on the curb. "What wrong Mel?" He asks and I know I have to lie. "Nothing, just want to loosen up." He knows I was lying. "You're lying to me, you're like your brother. You keep your feelings to yourself. You can tell me Mel, you are like my own daughter." Doc tells me and I try not to cry. "I can't do this, this isn't the lifestyle for me. Doc, before the guys got big... I had a crush on Nikki... I can't be around this anymore." I let a tear fall.

"It's okay Mel, maybe he'll notice what he is missing. You should go to the bus and get some rest." He gives me a side hug as we go separate ways. I just need to meet another guy to fall for. I need to focus on myself and start living my life away from the band. Even though it was hard, the thought of leaving my brother's side. But like I said, this isn't my type of lifestyle. I don't the drugs, I don't drink alcohol 24/7, I don't fuck random guys like the guys do with chicks, I don't cause trouble just for fun because my fucked in the head.