BAD ACTING

AVERAGE

        My first class at the Young Actors Studio reminded me talent is not grown overnight. Karen made me repeat each line until I perfected the delivery. The learning curve hit me hard. My lack of talent frustrated me.

        I entered the second class high as a kite after smoking a joint in my car and floated through the hours. My acting still bad, but I didn't give two fucks.

        After the third class, a few students introduced themselves and asked for my number. Everybody appeared fake and I did not want to play along. But I did. Reluctantly.

        "Hey, you're the new guy."

        "I am."

        "You should hang out with us sometime."

        "For sure."

        I received a call the next day to come to one of their parties.

        Carrie, sixteen, long blonde hair, expensive bohemian clothes, from Boulder, Colorado.

        The young actress lived in Toluca Lake, ten minutes away from my apartment towards Burbank. Carrie lived alone in a house that mommy and daddy paid for. I parked my busted car next to her new Mercedes. Walking past the shiny car I glanced at my reflection. The ends of my shaggy hair stuck out at odd angles like a manga character. I ghosted through the party unnoticed, grabbed a beer from the fridge, and found a chair in the corner of the more populated room. I showed up because Carrie possessed something I wanted badly. A resume.

        Days In Our Lives

        5 seconds in Bad Girls

        Hannah Banana

        Drake and Posh

        Zoe 123

        Grays Body

        I sat in the corner, unassumingly drinking a beer and inspecting her credits on my phone.

        "Do you smoke?"

        I put my phone away and smiled.

        Andrew, nineteen, brown hair, tall, from Northern California, and Carrie's boyfriend. I accepted the joint from Andrew, taking in a drag.

        "Sometimes." I passed the joint. I showed Andrew the travel stash kept in my Beatles bag and packed a bowl for the group. I took the first hit and handed my pipe over to Andrew. His eyes widened as he smiled.

        Andrew told me about the pilot he just filmed for the DIZ Channel.

        "I'm waiting to see if it gets picked up."

        "Cool."

        I pegged Andrew as a super douche in class, but since he started talking to me I decided to go with the flow. I reminded myself about Karen's motto for a good scene. Keep the stakes high and each action should bring you closer to your desired outcome.

        Carrie danced over and sat on Andrews lap.

        "Hey! You came!"

        "I did."

        "Oh my god! I love your bag, where did you get it?"

        "Barcelona."

        "Spain is incredible, right?"

        "Incredible."

        Carrie smiled and started whispering with Andrew.

        I donated half my bag of weed to fog everyone around me. Then I made my exit. Passing the bathroom on my way out, I overheard Carrie talking with another girl.

       "Who's the fresh meat?"

        "Some guy from Karen's."

        "Is he any good?"

        "Average, nothing special."

        Walking back to my car I scratched a deep line across the side of Carrie's Mercedes with my keys.

        I knew I would have to befriend these actors if I wanted to succeed. I needed to keep things on my terms to feel in control of the situation. I cast myself in the role of the new guy as I zeroed-in on my competition.