BAD ACTING

POSE

        LA Models booked me a gig with Target five days after signing with them. A two-day shoot for $2,300. After agent fees and taxes I estimated about $1,800. Tuesday and Wednesday, twelve hours each day. I drove to a studio in downtown LA. A giant industrial loft with four sets in each corner. A white backdrop in each set with lights and crew circling each area.

        Four models. Two guys/ two girls all high school/college /sixteen-twenty-one age group. A white guy, me, a black guy, a white girl, and an Asian girl. I entered the loft quickly greeted by a crew member with a walkie talky who guided me over to my corner. Basic hair and makeup and we started. A whole team focused on my corner of the shoot. Racks and boxes of clothes lined the walls and two dressers handed me clothes, clipping and pinning anything that needed perfecting.

        I shot all the new inventory for Target's next period or season. Late Summer/Fall.

        The first photograph of each outfit, a full body shot. Second, each item photographed individually close up. Shirt. Pants. Shoes. Twelve hours, one break. I loved the attention.

        The second day I shot socks, underwear, tank tops, athletic wear, pajamas, and lastly outerwear. Coats, hats, watches, bags. The last few hours of the shoot the four of us finally photographed group shots. Four together and then groups of three and two.

        Done.

        A crew member helped me carry three boxes of merchandise out and into my truck. A selection of the clothes I wore through the shoot.

        I never planned on modeling, but after failing at all the acting thus far it felt good to be chosen for something. Now I felt like I finally received my ticket to the nameless VIP section in my brain. I decided to put my focus on my go-sees and tried to embody the role of the model.

*

        Friday afternoon Leah and Julia stopped by my apartment to congratulate me on signing with LA Models. My living room cluttered with bags from the shoot with Andrew and the boxes from Target, the girls navigated through the clothes and into my room.

        "I think you need a bigger closet," Julia said.

        I left all the free swag out and in the way because I did not know where to put it all, and mainly because I felt proud and wanted to show off. Not that the clothes came from luxury brands, but two companies paid me to be photographed in their products at that equaled success in my mind.

        The girls wanted to hear every detail, and we sat on my bed as I recounted the events starting from the day Andrew asked me to come along to his shoot.

        "This is exciting!" Julia said.

        "You seem so happy!" Leah added.

        My phone started ringing and I picked it up. One of the assistants from LA Models informed me I booked a spread with Nylon Magazine for Tuesday.

        Holy Shit

        I hung up the phone.

        "I'm shooting for Nylon next week."

        Leah and Julia started screaming and tickling me. We jumped off the bed and danced in a victory parade.

        "We need to celebrate!" Leah cried.

        Julia ran to the freezer and brought back the bottle of Jack she left months ago. We passed the bottle around taking shots. I turned on music and we ran out into the living room and started throwing T-shirts and socks everywhere. After emptying half of the boxes of clothes on my floor we sat down and I packed the bong.

        "You just moved here and you signed with a top modeling agency."

        "And you booked three gigs in like a week!"

        "Two weeks, and the first gig I didn't book...I just happened to be on set."

        "Shut up."

        "You are a wizard!"

        We laughed.

        "I've never seen you this happy, I love it." Julia sang

        "I know he can't stop smiling." Leah teased.

        "You always joke around and play, but tonight you seem completely different."

        I felt different.

        I thought for a moment finding the words.

        "I moved out here without a plan, and I've been trying hard to figure out this town. I never expected modeling as an option. I wanted to act."

        "Modeling could be your way into acting," Leah said seriously.

        "Maybe," I said taking another bong hit.

        "Let's do a fashion show!" Julia pleaded.

        The three of us collected items scattered from the floor and in boxes. Julia placed white undies on her head and socks on her arms like gloves. I threw on hiking boots, boxer shorts, and stayed shirtless strapping on a backpack. Leah made a skirt out of a tank top and rocked a plaid jacket over her bra. We each walked up and down the room twice posing at the kitchen and then another pose at the front door.