May, it was finally May. All the work I had do these last few months would be finally over. Right now, my topic was to read pride and prejudice and find the reason out; Why Darcy didn't let her go and still fought for her love?
Well, everyone who read pride & prejudice knows the answer, but I got a call from my best friend Shawn. It's 3 a.m. in Toronto and 8 a.m. here in Berlin, so why was he calling me that late?
"Shawn? Is everything alright?" worriedly I asked him. He never called me that late, not even when he was drunk.
"Oh, right, I can't call you anymore. You're so busy all the time, relax," he definitely drank something, not that much, but enough to blurry his mind to call me at 3 a.m.
"You're drunk. Shawn, I love you but I need to work on my final essays. I will call you back, some hours later," I whispered.
Mostly, he was annoyed when I said I would call him back. Usually, I just didn't do it. It's sure rude, but once these final essays are done I will join him on tour. Which should stay as a surprise, but his attitude makes it hard to keep it to myself.
"Nahhh, I know you. You will ignore me again, like what did I do?"
"Shawn, you know I need to finish my essays, right? I don't need your drunk attitude right now,"
"Wait, I'm not drunk. Yes, I had some drinks, but I'm definitely not drunk. I just called to say how much I care,"
Silence. I didn't know what to say. It wasn't something I would expect from him. He is honest, mostly, I know he cares about me and I appreciate it.
"Shawn, pl-" I got interrupted by him.
"For once just don't say something. I called you extra at 3 a.m. because I knew you wouldn't ignore me. You would be worried and happily, you didn't pushed decline. Lately, I'm the one who always calls you, or tries to hold a conversation. You seem not to be interested in it. It's just, I miss you,"
Never had I thought that he would miss me, or that he would be so sad about it. He knows how busy I am, but he is also right that I tried to get rid of him. My feelings are all over the place and everytime I try to talk with him, it seems just a little bit more complicated to talk without having any kind of feelings for him. I don't want to ruin our friendship.
"Shawn, I miss you too, but I'm just so busy. I'm sorry, if I made you sad, you know how much I hate being so cold towards to you,"
"It's just not that. You were out with your friends, even though you're busy. So, what's going on? You can be honest with me,"
He wanted to hear it. He wanted to hear that I care about him and that I love him, but everything is a mess. I could be honest, but probably I would lost him, or I could tell him a lie and I wouldn't lose him. It's my decision.
"What should be the problem? Of course, I will go out. I can't be in my apartment till this semester is done. I still have a life, Shawn,"
"Why you're always so stubborn? Don't you see it? The way I care about you, or the way I look at you. Why don't she get it?"
His last question was a mumble. Yes, sometimes I'm stubborn, but he just could tell what's on his mind. Shawn, also would never feel the same. He's famous, he could have every girl. Why should he love a normal girl who is studying all the time?
"I just called to say I love you, now it's out, and now goodbye,"
"Shawn, don't go. It's mutual. I feel the same, that's why I was so cold these last weeks to you. I love you, and I do care about you. But for now, you should sleep, goodnight,"
"Goodnight, love," I could hear his cheesy smile through my phone. And damn, we both confessed it.
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I JUST CALLED TO SAY HOW MUCH I LOVE YOUUUU, if you don't know this song, you're living under a rock. Just facts.
