749km Away From Home

Thinning Thread

To everyone that's been reading lately.... I just want y'all know I see and appreciate you all so so so so much.... I couldn't be more grateful .... 👏❣
Soooooooo much love & enjoy this chapter and look out for another update closer to the end of this week😘😘.... Also, some feedback would be great!!!! 😭
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Happiness seemed so foreign....

All I had come to know was constant heartache and distress...

The thread of hope that I was so relentlessly hanging onto was getting thinner every agonizing moments that passed and I knew it was only a matter of time before it finally snapped....

I felt stupid.... naive.... thinking about freedom but it was the only thing that kept me going.

Freedom from the concrete walls that imprisoned me.

The walls that bore witness to my misery & abuse....
Only those walls knew my story.....

I liked to think life was like a book and as we live, we fill our book, with memories... good and bad ones, mistakes, lessons, milestones and that's exactly what it was for so many years and then in the blink of an eye, my story took the most unexpected turn and my beautiful white pages was smeared with anguish and inmmense cruelty...

It was like a pure white flower sinking in ink...

"Please .... get up.... Wake up" I heard faintly.

I struggled to open my eyes.... I was just so tired.... My eyes fought to stay closed but eventually I awoke to Maya shaking me.

Worry glazing her eyes..

"Oh thank God" she cried out holding her chest

"I'm so so sorry...." I whispered to her.

"Shhhhhh....just shhhhhh now. Get up, eat something please" , she said and started to get up but I held her hand and pulled her back....

"Maya.... Please help me get out of here....." I pleaded with her, tears running down my face.

She closed her eyes and got up.

"Eat" she said without turning around and left.

Once again I was crying on the floor.

When the door opened again my heart started hammering against my chest...

"Please god, help me..." I cried as I felt strong hands raise me up from the floor and put me on the bed.

"Wait-" I screamed.

"What?" , the man asked raising an eyebrow....

"The drugs... The drugs. I need the drugs, tell them....the drugs", I told him frantically pointing at the door.

"Please, you don't understand" I continued.

He laughed... "No drugs today babydoll I know it's hard but at least try to enjoy it" he said.
"Pleaseeeeeeee" I cried but he just shrugged and proceeded.

I laid on my back waiting for the horrible pain to shoot through my body....

"Turn around" , he commanded....  Confused, I obeyed, flipping over on my tummy.
"Am I gonna be your first anal? " he asked and before my brain could process what he said.... I felt it....

I screamed out in pain.

I screamed and screamed until my throat was hoarse , the pain never easing.....

It was horrendous.... I felt like I was being ripped into each time I felt even the slightest penetration...
It was beyond words.

"Plllleaseeeeeeee I'll do anything else" I begged but he was unphased.

I held onto the bed sheets and prayed for it to be over.

I felt bruised and filthy.....

Finally it was over... I waited for him to leave but he didn't... he flipped me over and forced himself into my mouth... I was mortified... Shocked, disgusted.... So many things.

I literally couldn't even breathe at a point, I was seconds away from passing out... Then I felt my mouth filled up.....

" Swallow it" ,he demanded and knowing I had no choice I did.

Happy..... He left and the moment he did I leaned over the bed and threw up until I couldn't no more...  And in that moment, the thread had snapped....

I couldn't take anymore.

It was just to much.

I gave up hope and I gave up on my faith...

I cursed at god and swore never to prayer again.....

The door opened again and I saw another man walk down the stairs, the tears ran down my face... it hadn't even been a full hour...I closed my eyes and waited but
"Oh my God" was the only thing I heard him say... "You need help.... "