749km Away From Home

Rain & Darkness

A longer but important chapter!❤
Thank you so so so much to every one that's just been so incredibly supportive lately! Liking, commenting and voting 😭❤
Means the actual world to me❤❤
Hope y'all enjoy this chapter!
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It was easy, so easy for me to think that I wanted to die...

After what i had been through, who wouldn't think about suicide!?
I had cried enough tears to drown in and bore enough pain for a lifetime.

Being trapped within those walls, being used over and over again without anyone taking a minute to understand that I was an human being too... It wore me out.

I was just tired....

Tired of hoping and wishing and praying I'd wake up from the nightmare that had become my days, my nights and everything in-between.
Tired of too many things and I wanted to take my pawn off the game of life because I was losing, pathetically and it took me coming so close to death to realise, I might be tired of all those things, but I didn't want to die.

I wanted to go home to my parents, finish school & make them proud.
I wanted a future, a career, my own home, a family one day...

I didn't want to die and I was so scared....

The girl that the unfamiliar man brought into the room slumped over his shoulders was sitting infront of me on the concrete. 
She had told me at some point her name was Siva and that she was there for me.
I was staring into her worried eyes, tears sprouting from mine and I wanted to explain how scared I was but I couldn't find the right words.

We sat there for several minutes in silence until she said, "You should lay down..."
When I didn't respond she moved to my side, held my hands and let me rest my head on her shoulder.

"Do you think he'll really kill me?" I asked finally.

She sighed, "I don't know...."

"Why do you think they put us together?" I inquired.

She looked at me through furrowed eyebrows. "How long have you been here?" She asked.

"Uhhhhh, a week maybe?, I don't know it's hard to keep track with the drugs and the men, you?"

She smiled sadly, "Almost 3 months I think."

I couldn't imagine what she'd been through.

"A client wants both of us... It's pretty normal" she added nonchalantly.

"Are you joking? Normal? What part of any of this is normal????" I blurted out startling her.

I hadn't intend to responded that harshly but normal was definitely not a word to be associated with anything even remotely related to our situation.

"I'm sorry, I'm just on edge lately..... Uhhhhh ... How were you taken?" I asked in a more friendly tone sitting up to look at her now.

She looked away.

"I... I -uh I wasnt taken actually...."

Shocked, I stared at her waiting for an explaination.

She sighed. "I kinda agreed to it.... Look before you judge me, hear me out. I had no one. My mom gave me up at birth so I grew up in a children's home, it wasn't a bed of roses but i never knew anything but that so I was content... Puberty hit, I got boobs and this man who was part of the home started sexually abusing me.... I  was 16 when a sweet old lady came by wanting to shelter an orphan girl. She was sick so she thought of it as her last act of kindness. When she chose me to go home with her I was overwhelmed. She was nothing but good to me but sadly she died only 2 months after. I thought I was gonna go back to the home, but her son I never knew she had, said he'd take care of me. I hated him the moment I saw him....  He was an actual monster. He raped me on the night of his own mother's funeral under the same roof of his wife and 3 month old baby... and continued to do so whenever he felt like it. I didn't say anything because his wife was a really nice person and I couldn't bare hurting her feelings . A few days went by and I convinced her to get me a work at a grocery where I met a man, he said I was too pretty to be packing shelves and carrying boxes. He told me I could make alot of money with him and he'd give me a place to stay and that was all I needed to hear. I left with him immediately. He took me to a bar and told me all I had to do was spend time with a few men, talk, flirt, that was all & being the naive & clueless, I believed him.  He had a maid doll me up, got me high and locked me in a room with a man. Needles to say, there was no talking or even flirting.... He raped me. And well I've been here since then... I feel like sexual assault is just written in the stars for me...."