Rebel

Chapter 8: Sleeping With a Friend

"WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT?!" Rachel yelled after spitting out her water. "He had you climbing walls and you didn't even give him an answer!?" Candace spat at me. "I swear to God, I'm gonna ask him how that tongue twirls next time we see him," Jamie yelled between snorts and giggles. "Syd, he fucked up your whole game," Melanie said while crossing her legs and tossing her hair over her shoulder. "I know! That's the scary part! He totally took me by surprise and I had no idea what to do. I even cried and everything!" I explained to the bunch. "You cried before, during, or after he gave you head?" Candace asked, raising one eyebrow.

Actually it was before and during, I guess all of that built up tension and frustration being relieved brought tears to my eyes. I wasn't about to tell her that though. I'd never hear the end of it. "After," I lied, "he sat and poured his soul out to me. He even told me why he left. He even talked about us having a baby! Do I look like the type of person who would have a baby?" I asked rhetorically. "Not at all. You do good just to keep yourself alive," Rachel added. "Fuck you Rach. That's beside the point. He really fucked my whole head up and now I really don't know what to do." Four pairs of eyes stared at me as we sat on Reggie and Rachel's front porch with the sun blazing and not a speck of wind blowing.

"You take him up on his offer. We all watched your life fall apart last year. If he was that serious to pour his heart out to you, then you listen and take it and run with it. He likes you, stupid. Now let him love you." This was the first time that any of my friends felt so good about me forming a relationship with someone. It was heartwarming. Every girl dreams of sitting back with their friends, telling them all of the juicy details from their dates, and unfortunately for me, my relationship was never the topic for discussion on a positive note.

"So that's it? I just go running into his arms for a happily ever after?" I asked the bunch, still trying to figure all of this out. "No dumb ass. You spend more time with him until you're comfortable enough to move forward with him. I swear you act like you've never had a boyfriend before." I stared at Candace. "I'd chill with the insults if I were you," I said glaring at her. I hope she hadn't forgot about the other night when she was high as a kite and the days before that when she was being a bitch because she was sober. I would never forgive her for that shit. "Anyway, before you two tear each other's heads off, aren't you going to the beach for the summer anyway?" Jamie asked, not wanting a fight to break out between us.

I put my issue with Candace in the back of my mind and turned to Jamie to answer her question. "Yeah. My parents take me and Candace every summer. It's their way of 'keeping us out of the trouble back in Welch'," I said, mocking my father. Honestly, I had no idea how well that would turn out. I hadn't been home in almost a week ever since school let out. I knew my mom would be pissed. I made sure I never worried them too much. Every now and then I'd reply to her texts with, "I'm fine Mom," and then I wouldn't make the effort to talk to her.

"Sydney, when's the last time you actually saw your mom?" Rachel asked. "About a week ago, but we've kept in contact. You guys know she's been giving me my space." Candace looked at me and had her arms folded across her chest. "She doesn't need to give you any space. I know I'm about the last person that has any room to talk, but Syd, Dean really almost fucked up your life." She went there. She mentioned the one person who I fought so hard each and every day to forget about.

Dean Johnson had been my boyfriend for two years. I don't think you'd exactly call his ass a boyfriend. He was more like a problem. Every single day was fight after fight after fight and I was surprised that I had even made it two years with him. I'd never forget the day I called myself being nice to him, hugging him trying to be cute, by my bus one day when school was dismissed. Once we started dating, it was problem after problem and so much fighting that I could hardly live with myself. That's when the drinking and the partying began. We would break up for a few days, I'd go to a party, get as drunk as possible, other guys would talk to me, and then he would try to get me back purely out of jealousy.