Rebel

Chapter 17: Turning Page

"So that's it? After everything we've been through, this is what it's come to?" Danny said, trying to remain as calm as possible. He was standing at the edge of the driveway, staring into the dark,mostly likely lost in though. It was a wonder that he didn't try to kill Eli instead of just stormingout the way he did. I could have sworn that he was going to knock Kelsey out though. She wasdoing too much and she looked pitiful.

I stumbled down Reggie's concrete stairs, careful not to fall. I knew that I had been brave and bold, but was I regretting it? I was a nervous wreck. I was feeling too many emotions at once and I felt like my heart and my brain were in overdrive. "I was there for you when no one else could handle you and this is it? You want to slap me in my face and do me dirty?" he asked, raising the volume of his voice. "I literally wanted to break every guy's face that even so much as glanced in your direction back there because I know for a fact that some of them have the potential to hurt you. Out of all people, you choose to dry hump on the sloppiest motherfucker in the room."

I surprised myself and found the courage to speak up and say what I was feeling without anyregret. "Calm down asshole!" I screamed, trying my best to make him shut the hell up and listen. "You left! You left me, you came back with all of these empty promises, and you spaz out on me and resort to treating me like shit and I can't trust you anymore! Everyone that I love leaves or hurts me and you're no different!" I shouted. I realized that the distance between us grew even bigger because I was so consumed with trying to figure out how to go about my situation. I thought that I was going to have to figure it out all by myself at some point in time. I couldn't keep using him as a crutch.

Even in the middle of the night in August, the air was still a bit chilly. I folded my arms to keep from shivering and to keep myself from falling apart. "Yeah, I know and I'll fucking regret it forthe rest of my life," he said, throwing his arms up in defeat. "I love you, but I don't need you to be overbearing and controlling," I said softly. I was waiting for the right time to unveil my secret, but at this rate, I was going to have to just spit it out and hope for the best.

He stared at me in silence, almost a little confused. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?I shouldn't have come back. If it makes you feel any better, I'll get a head start back to whereI came from and you'll never have to hear from me ever again. I just love you so much thatsometimes it hurts. It physically hurts. You've changed so much since I've been gone and I'm soproud of you, but it feels like those changes included cutting me out of your life and forgettingabout me. I've always loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you." He looked heartbroken.Never in a million years would I have ever thought of myself as being strong. I thought I wouldalways be stuck in between being shitty and broken. I thought that I would always need him tokeep me strong enough just to make it each day, but I didn't. Now I wanted him to stick aroundfor reasons beyond my drama from last year.

"I worry every single minute of every single day that you're going to outgrow me. You are the best thing in this entire fucked up world to ever happen to me. I wanted nothing more than to be able to call you mine when I came back. That is the reason. You are the reason because I was tired of staying away when you were all I could think of." He stared at me and my heart broke over and over again. "Just please say that you still love me because I can't live without you. Doing it for a year was a nightmare. You are my happiness."

I pressed my lips together and I could feel all of my thoughts fighting to break out and be heard."You can't leave me again," I started, "this between us has been a complete roller coaster and Iknow that it's been just as frustrating for you as it has been for me and it's only going to tear usapart. That's the last thing I want to happen. I love having you in my life and I've been so happysince you've been back. But I'm not as broken as I was before."