Rebel

Epilogue: I'm the Killer

Five years later....

"Damn man. I still can't believe it's been five years."

He knew how much time had passed. He had passed since the moment he got the news. He hadbeen counting the seconds actually.

It never got easier. The rage never left his heart. His mind, body, and soul was riddled with hatred and could never accept it or make it easier. There wasn't a day that went by where he didn't want revenge. This all could have been prevented and since it didn't work out that way, someone had to pay for it.

"Shut the fuck up about it! I know how long it's been!" he growled. He didn't want his pain to make him seem soft, but when he was finally alone, away from everyone that was never in his life to stay for good, he broke down and would crumble. Girls would come around long enough to give him what he wanted and take what they came for and the guys that surrounded him were always too deep in a nod to even hear him vent. It had even been a constant battle to keep himself sane enough to avoid taking his own life. He didn't understand any of it, but he wanted to get even. He wandered around this world for a good portion of his life alone and just when he thought things would get easier, they fell apart all over again. And he knew exactly who was going to pay........."Fauna Gabriella!" I shouted from the hallway when I walked out of my bedroom and saw a trail of Barbie and Bratz dolls scattered in a trail leading through the kitchen and into Fauna's room. I swear, it didn't seem like a five year old could make such a mess and it was her daddy's fault for bringing her a doll home every time she batted those long lashes of hers. I swear, if I never saw another doll in my life, I would be satisfied. No one knew the pain of stepping on a small plastic high heel in the dark. I would have taken stepping on a Lego over that any day, especially since I had a belly that was ready to pop any day now that was blocking the view of my feet."I'm coming Mommy!" she shouted back. Being called Mommy for the last few years had become music to my ears. It was proof that out of everyone in her little life, she held onto my heart the tightest.

All of the frustration from seeing the mess she had made, even after time and time again of being told not to leave her toys in the floor, washed away when I saw the spitting image of myself bouncing down the hallway with her thick black pigtails flopping around on the top of her little head. I would have put my last penny on knowing that she would turn out to be Danny's twin as much as we fought when I was pregnant. The only thing she got from him was his wide gray eyes. Everything else was all me. Even her hospital pictures were identical to mine when I was a baby.

"I didn't mean to make you mad, Mommy," she said as she pouted when she came to stand in front of me. Lord knows I couldn't say no to Danny's puppy dog eyes, and there was no fighting chance that I could say no to Fauna's.

I enjoyed motherhood more than I would have ever imagined. It was one of the most rewarding jobs that someone could have ever asked for. Some days I was a nurse, fixing boo boos and fighting fevers, a professional wrestler when she would have her temper tantrums that were the equivalent to a hurricane and Danny was the referee, or a psychiatrist, talking about all of the mean old kids at the park. I could remember Fauna being extremely dramatic about them the first time she ever went, "And let me tell you about those girls, Mommy. They are bad and fast," she said with more than enough sass than a five year old should have been able to handle.

Some days Rachel and I both took turns being referees whenever the girls would fight or if one of them didn't get their way. "And let me tell you about Flora, Mommy. I don't care if she's my cousin. She is still mean and fast!" she said sternly. "Fauna, how in the world do you know what being fast means?" I asked, extremely curious. "Cause. Paw paw and Gigi told me that they would whoop my butt if I was ever fast like these other girls. I told them I'm not like those other girls. I'm a special type of princess, Mommy." I swear I almost lost it right in front of her when she belted out those words loud and proud. They tell you not to laugh at the things your kids say or do, but sometimes that was the biggest challenge of them all. I almost pissed on myself the day she called one of the rude cashiers at the grocery store a bitch. I didn't give a damn if they thought I was a bad mom for laughing. Anybody with a sense of humor would have laughed. Sometimes I swear that she and I shared the same soul and with that came the same mouth that would never have a filter.We were a perfect match and if I was thinking it, you could bet your ass that she was going to say it.