Rebel

Chapter 39: Marry You

"Hack it all off. I don't even care," I said waving my hand dramatically. I just went ahead and made another impulsive decision for the first time in a while. It was the day of my parents' vow renewal and when I rolled over that morning, it was in a matted mess from milk that had leaked from one of Fauna's bottles. I was in a panic. As much as I tried to wash it, brush it, and run a flat iron over it, I still didn't have any luck. It didn't even look halfway decent. It took everything in me not to shatter the mirror with my fist when I came to the realization that as long as my hair flowed down my back, almost to my waist, the more likely I was to wake up to this on a daily basis. It reminded me of all the mornings I would wake up to a headache because someone had to pull my hair into a tight bun the night before just so it wouldn't be covered in puke. That thought made me even angrier. Correlating the two events is what drove me to wanting to get rid of it all.

I sat in front of the vanity mirror in my moms bathroom with Jada standing over me, nervously clutching a pair of scissors in her hand. "You sure?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. She ran her fingers through my thick locks for a few minutes and then sighed. "Absolutely. It's more trouble than it's worth," I replied. "I'd have to blow half a stack to get weave even remotely close to being this long and thick," she said, sounding defeated.

I needed a new look. I loved my hair, but it was time for a change. It had to go. For most of my life, my mom had been the one taking care of my hair and that's probably the only reason why it had such incredible length to it. She would never allow me to cut it or dye it. I would only ever straighten it and pull it up in a bun on top of my head and left it at that. It was surprising that it hadn't started breaking off by now.

"A little black girl is somewhere crying," she said as she snipped away. "Too bad. I want this shit gone," I said before she could make me regret it. I wanted to feel brand new.

"It won't be too bad, I suppose. Your parents are doing this outside and the heat would be insane if you didn't cut it." Thankfully, she was finally beginning to agree with me. Jada and I didn't fight as much as she and Danny did. She was very persuasive, but I was very firm. Our personalities clashed. I knew that that would happen from the very beginning. She walked around like there were paparazzi hiding in the bushes and I would roll out of bed and throw on whatever wasn't stained. Even before becoming a mom, that's how I was. I was usually trying to avoid attention and she fed off of it.

When it came to Fauna and what she would wear, Jada would fight with me about it. She'd show up to our house with shopping bags and I'm pretty sure that at this point, Fauna had to have had a dress or romper for every day of the year. Her closet was completely packed and I would secretly pass bags of clothes with the tags still on them to Rachel. She was a baby. She didn't need to be dressed like she was getting ready for a photo shoot. It was nearly impossible sometimes because like most babies, she would spit up and after an outfit change or two, she was content with hanging out in just her diaper.

I was grateful that she cared so much and would buy her anything she laid her eyes on and we would compromise, but the giant bows that were bigger than her head were completely out of the question. Sometimes, she would want me and Fauna both to wear flashy clothes and would try to push me into wearing high heels all the time for absolutely no reason. I didn't have anybody to impress, so it was pointless. Again, she didn't try to fight with me. Ever since graduation, she and I had gotten pretty close. Most of my friends were about to take off and I didn't have any hard feelings about it, but I still felt lonely. Jada usually came over to spend the day with Fauna and I and we ended up hitting it off.

I knew that she had been lonely too. She even took to spending time with me and my mom. The two of them were made for each other. They were crazy about detail and going above and beyond with whatever they set their hearts on. It was like Jada was the older sister and other daughter that Mom and I always wanted. Jada never really came out and said it, but I knew that she was growing attached to us because of the way she parted ways with her parents and all of the bullshit they put her through.