Rebel

Chapter 14: Issues

With the last of the fireworks putting an end to the Fourth of July and our trip to the beach, we headed home. I had to face my friends and when I got the chance to fill them in about the shit that went down with me and Candace, they were going to flip. Candace was a bitch to all of us here and there, but I usually got the worst of it. She knew how far she could get with me because she knew that I would never hurt her. She knew that I saw her as the only sister I ever had and with my family being as fucked up and as distant as it was, she knew that I was always going to do whatever it took to make sure she was safe and keep her close to me.

Just like I expected in the back of my mind, I had grown tired of partying and staying out all night. I spent so much time at Danny's house that he had started dropping hints that I should just go ahead and move in. That was definitely going to be out of the question. My parents let me get by with a lot but they would definitely lose their shit if they stumbled into my room and everything was gone.

"Have you talked to Candace?" he asked as he curled up beside me on the couch. "Hell no. I still want to kill her because of that shit she pulled," I answered coldly. "Calm down. She may have hit you below the belt, but I've always known you two to be pretty close. How'd you get so tight?" I hated telling the story, but it was the only way people could understand our bond. "Our moms are sisters. Melissa and Lilith. Aunt Lil is older." He smirked. "Lilith? Mother of Demons?" "Yeah, that explains her daughter. When we were kids, we got into a car accident. We both got some broken bones and a few bumps and bruises, but her baby sister didn't survive. Ever since then, we've been stuck to each other like glue. We've always protected each other. Candace has been pretty fucked up since it happened. We were only six, so over the last eleven years, she's been trying to find a way to cope. Sometimes I feel like she just uses me as a crutch." I was ashamed to admit it, but Candace's drug problem had probably gotten out of hand because I never tried to stop her. I was always trying to make sure that she could enjoy her high peacefully when I should have been trying to stop her from doing it in the first place. But I knew better than anybody that most of us needed some kind of drug to be able to cope with the struggles of life. It wasn't right, but it was human nature. We needed something that could give us a temporary way out.

"Well, you don't have to listen to me, but you should probably make amends with her. I know you guys love each other and even though I freaked out and probably shouldn't have called her a fiend, you still love her and she makes you happy," he explained. "For the most part," I added, "I have my problems and drinking is just as bad, but I just worry a lot that she's going to end up dead. I know she doesn't have enough sense to find fresh needles. The best thing for me to do right now is stay the hell away from Candace." Danny held me tight and stroked my hair. "I know you'll figure it out," he said as he gave me a reassuring smile.

....I sent a group text out to Rachel, Mel, and Jamie telling them that we needed to talk. I left Candace out. Mom and Dad hadn't seen her either, so my guess was that she either found somewhere to be or she fled back to West Virginia. I really didn't care either way. I was washing my hands of Candace for right now and that would be the end of it. I couldn't save her if she didn't want to be saved and I knew that being saved and getting clean was the absolute furthest thing from her mind. I was probably going to come around and let her back in, but it was going to take some time.

Being around Danny for so long had started to change me. I never felt the need to try to patch things up with people. I was always prepared to just write them off and leave it alone. It was always a lot less painful that way and that's how I kept my feelings from getting hurt. But he seemed eager to get to know more about my parents. He claimed that he was still trying to figure them out and considering the fact that my parents never did anything to hurt me intentionally, he wanted me to find a way to communicate with them better.