NEVER MINE

NOT GOING BACK♾

"Earth to ruth" he yells bringing me back to reality. "I am sorry for zoning out on you" i tell him & assure him with a forced smile, "so you were saying?"                                                           He asks in an exasperating tone.                             " yeah , yeah I don't like pineapples on pizza " i tell him & find him totally confused about i just said ,                                                                           he replied quickly " jeez RUTH we weren't talking about PINEAPPLES ON PIZZAS! GOD RUTH tell me whats up in that devil mind of yours , you seem so drifted today, are we okay? Did i do something wrong ?"                                                                             He yells with all the comfort he can .But nothing in the moment interested me & all i can think about was HIM. My brain was full of thoughts regarding HIM. "RUTH" (he cuts me out again)," there you go babe , speak to me PLEASE!?   He says but this time there is more agony in his voice but nothing really seemed to affect me , i was least bothered about everything except HIM. I didn't know what the ^F^ was going on in my lousy brain at that moment &                                         I impulsively blustered out the words i ll always regret "HIM, I AM THINKING ABOUT HIM!" , he glanced at me for a sec not taking his eyes off me & I could see the horror in his face , he was taken aback completely from my words ,MY STUPID STUPID WORDS!,                    I couldn't help but notice the shift in his eyes , curious & confused. I was hit by reality & juggled between my stuff , gathering them hurriedly,                                                            i said " I AM SO SORRY ADRIAN " I sympathise on my words to the person who probably meant everything to me Few months ago , UNTIL HIM. Iquickly run out of the cozy cafe we were in , i thought he would probably follow me , so I decided to call a cab , I stopped the cab few blocks away , so that I could wipe away the warm tears from my face & act like nothing happened. I AM LITERALLY not in the mood to entertain 100 questions from my mother about what happened