Broken Beyond Fixing

Begining of my problems

[THIS STORY IS IN TODOROKI's POV AND THIS IS A PROLOGUE]

I couldn't breathe. I just lay there, in the middle of the room. Emotionless. Cold. Empty. My body had been broken so many times I should be used to it...but every time it stung me in the heart even worse. My ears were ringing. The bitter taste of blood filled my mouth. Endeavor what have you done? I'll tell you. You tried to murder your own son. It felt like all I was to him was his own personal punching bag.

Screaming and shouting echoed through my ears. I saw a red and blue flashing light and heard sirens in the distance. Fuyumi must've called the police or an ambulance. At that exact moment I knew no matter what, my father would always be this way, the kids at my school would always be this way and I would always be this way.

"I'm broken..."

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Strike one
I sat in my room going over the fresh bruises and sprained wrist my father had given me. Tears streamed down my face. I had promised myself a long time ago I would stop but now, even if I tried I wouldn't be capable of stopping myself.

I slowly unlocked the door. My breathing quickened as I tip-toed over to the kitchen. I carefully opened the drawer and grabbed the sharpest knife I could find. The blade sliced my fingers as if they were paper. I made my way to my room and began cutting. I was out if control.

Small cuts turned to large gashes. I cut everywhere I could. I even took off my T-shirt and began blindly cutting my back. I didn't bother to treat my scars. I looked in the mirror. My face was pale from lack of food and I looked half dead...as if I was empty. I clenched my teeth together. Years and years of self hatred growing and growing. I looked down at my right hand. The only place I hadn't cut. I switched the knife to my left hand and raised it high above my head.

"UNCONTROLLABLE!"

I brought the knife down with as much force as I could. The knife slid through my hand. It stuck out the other side. I let out a bloodcurdling scream. I collapsed and began cradling my hand. I didn't dare remove the knife. "You're fucking uncontrollable!" I yell.

I hear the sound of my door being broken down. "SHOTO! WHAT DID YOU DO!?!?!" It was Fuyumi.

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Strike two
It was late at night. I was completely hammered. I sat on the steps leading up to my door, cigarette in hand. I had a real drinking problem. I felt like jumping into the road. As I got up to do it, a small part of me came to its senses and in a weird warning. I pressed the cigarette against my skin. A small burn appeared. White blisters began forming but I wouldn't stop attacking myself with the cigarette. I walked backwards. Suddenly, I tripped on a beer bottle I had drunk and fell over and smashed my head hard on the stone steps. I didn't remember anything that happened next.

"Reckless"

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Strike three
"Hey Todoroki!" It was Kaminari. "We're all going out to eat tonight wanna come?" "Uh sure..." I mumbled. I didn't even bother to look at him. "Okay see you later!"

"I don't want anything..." I said. "You're no fun! At least have a salad!" Pleaded Uraraka. "Fine..." I don't know why I came. You can't just suddenly stop being anorexic.

The food slowly began arriving. A tall young girl placed a plate in front of me. I watched everyone eat the food.

"Can't I just be normal?"

After awhile I gave in. A slowly ate my salad. The pointless conversations flew over my head as I focused on eating. "Excuse me..." I got up and headed to the bathroom. I locked myself in a stool and automatically began throwing up.

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The ambulance had arrived and was taking me to the hospital. Fuyumi held my bloody hand all the way. I could barely breathe. All these problems...the cutting, alcohol and smoking addiction and anorexia...they had gotten so bad over the summer. Now I was starting the new school year and the bullies will be waiting. I don't know how I'll survive..."

"Maybe I should die..."