chasing an illusion - pipabeth

2- control

"annabeth~" rang a familiar voice through my apartment. i hear the door close and the sounds of heavy footsteps. my two best friends finally came over. "we brought lunch!"

the footsteps approach near my door. percy sticks his head into my office. i don't turn to look at him. i keep staring at my laptop screen.

"annabeth did you hear me? lunch,"

"i'll be right there," i mutter, my voice sounding distant.

"it's enchiladas!" i hear grover's muffled voice add from the kitchen.

"just a second," i answer, frantically scrolling down pages of information.

i hear percy approach my desk and read my screen over my shoulder. "since when were you a tristan mclean fan? he's, like, hot but a little over your age group." percy jokes.

i push his face away playfully, but also because i didn't want him to see the numerous tabs of tabloids about him i had opened. "i'm not. it's just personal research."

"ohhhh no. i know what it means when you do 'personal research'," percy says.

"what's it mean?" grover asks, poking his head into my office as well.

"it means she's upset about something. remember that one time you spent a week doing personal research on the underlying causes and events leading up to world war two because someone called you a feminazi? what's the underlying issue here and what does it have to do with mclean?"

"nothing's wrong." i say, keeping my voice steady. "i was just curious. let's eat lunch."

"i don't th-" percy begins.

"enchiladas," i interrupt.

"enchiladas!" grover echoes. "come on, they're getting cold."

percy side eyes me, but that is the end of the conversation. he's stubborn, but i'm just as stubborn. he lets the topic rest.

percy and grover both waste no time eating. percy always has a big appetite and grover loves enchiladas. i eat slowly in silence as they both chattered. i wasn't very hungry even though i hadn't eaten all day. my mind was reeling with information and i longed to be back at my computer with no one to disturb me.

"do you wanna watch a movie after this? on netflix?" percy asks me. his voice seems far away.

movies. that's what started this mess.

"let me finish up what i was doing first. i'll be right there," i threw whatever wrappers of the enchiladas that remained and made way back to my office.

"it's bro weekend, annabeth! no work allowed!" percy calls after me.

"it'll only take a moment!" i call back.

i hear percy mumble something, but i'm already sitting down in my office chair, fingers flying over the keyboard.

"do you want us to choose a tristan mclean movie?" percy yells.

"absolutely not!" i call back.

my attention turns back to my screen.

tristan mclean married a young woman back when he was twenty three and had piper mclean. because his audience and fanbase mainly made of young girls who found him hot, he was encouraged to keep his marriage and his daughter away from the press. eventually the couple divorced and very little was revealed to the public. piper mclean's existence was kept quiet at least until her teenage years and she moved to l.a. she had apparently begun a singing career since.

i kept clicking and clicking until-

i reach her instagram.

my heart leaps and i feel sick. her face is so familiar, yet i find that i don't know her. it seems so far away from me, now.

her hair is much shorter now and she's lost the bangs. she has a septum piercing and many of her photos are of her on stage. she is either with a guitar or a microphone in her hand. my hand covers my mouth as i scroll. i click on her most recent post which happens to be a selfie.

i read the caption.

i will be performing in new york to end my tour! get tickets soon!

new york. the dates are very close.

there are only a few tickets left available.

i make quick calculations in my head. i weigh pros and cons. everything is screaming for me to not do it and yet my hands go on their own accord. i buy a ticket. i pay extra for a spot near the front. i hear the distant sounds of my own mind screaming at me.

why am i doing this? she probably doesn't even remember. why am i caught up on something that happened so quickly and so long ago, that it hardly feels real?

the only thing a person ever has control over is their own impulses and decisions, and now, even that feels out of my grasp. i feel as though spiraling out of my own control.

"annabeth, get your butt out here!" percy yells. i'm jolted from my thoughts. "i made popcorn!"

i stepped into the living room, rubbing my temple. thoughts fly around my mind.

"come on, annie." percy says, scooting aside to make room for me on the couch.

"we're watching the little mermaid!" grover adds. "again!"

i sigh. at least it's not a tristan mclean movie.