"yeah, yeah, i know." piper says on the phone. "just tell them i felt a little under the weather."
i sit patiently at the kitchen counter with my laptop and a cup of coffee. i answer a few emails. the coffee is watery, but i don't care. percy says he's coming over today but didn't say when.
"what, like today?" piper asks to whoever was on the phone. "okay. well i need to go back and change first. okay. okay. i'll be there. i'm sorry. sure thing." she hangs up and looks at me.
"gotta go?" i assume.
"my manager." she explains. "i have to go. i'm sorry."
"no, it's okay, i get it." i assure her. i really do get it.
she gathers her things and kisses my forehead before she leaves. the warmth spreads through my head and down my spine. i shiver when her lips leave my skin.
"be the truth." i tell her as she reaches the door handle.
she looks back and smiles that soul-melting smile. "anything for you, annabeth."
and the door opens and she steps out and percy steps in. she exchanges a quick hello and a goofy face with him before disappearing behind the bend out of my sight. percy watches her leave with me, craning his neck to watch her swiftly depart.
"looks like you found someone as obsessed with work as you are." he jokes as he closes the door behind him.
"haha, percy." i respond. i answer one last email.
"what's the deal with you two anyway?" percy asks eagerly.
"i guess... i guess we're... something." i mumble.
"something?"
it feels like i'm chasing illusions again. we kissed. just like how we kissed in her car six years ago. with the world spinning under us. with the sound of muffled music. with a symphony roaring in my ears. but what were we then? are we the same thing now?
"what's the word when two people love eachother and have admitted it and have kissed?" i ask, feeling stupid. one of my least favorite feelings in the world.
percy raises an eyebrow. "dating? in love?"
"something like that." i say.
percy laughs.
"oh, shut up." i grumble. "it's not so simple."
oh, but it is. that's all it is. we love eachother. it's love. it just felt so much simpler when we were younger. and now we've grown to be complicated. i grew to be complicated.
"whatever, wise girl." percy opens my fridge. he pulls out some yogurt and searches my drawers for spoons.
"the second one to your left," i instruct dully.
"aha!"
he sits next to me at the counter and eats the yogurt as i watch.
"anyway, it doesn't matter," i say, mostly to myself. as if trying to convince myself.
"are you kidding?" percy says with his mouth partially full. "you're dating someone! you're dating your highschool love! you're dating piper mclean!"
i put my head in my hands. "but that's the trouble, isn't it? we're not nobodies anymore. we both have important careers. she has a fanbase. her life is partially public. and my career. it's hard enough being a young woman in architecture. being young and a woman. it's so hard for people to respect me and take me seriously. and god, if they figure out i'm an gay young woman. there's places i want to be. there are projects i want creative freedom over."
"no one says that has to stop you."
"it's not! it's not stopping me, but... it does worry me. i don't want to admit it's a big deal. if i let it be a big deal... it'll hurt again. something will happen. and it'll hurt so much more." i say, feeling pathetic. i don't like being vulnerable. especially to my friends. especially to percy, who has always known to be 'wise girl'. the girl who's supposed to be wise. i don't feel that way. "it'll hurt just like..."
"i know."
percy's finished with his yogurt. i finished with my coffee. my inbox is empty. there's the sound of heavy footsteps from the apartment above us.
"sorry, percy." i sigh. "i didn't want to talk about it and drag you in... whatever the hell is going on with me."
"nuh-uh, annabeth, i asked. and what am i here for, if not to listen to your love bullshit? you always listened to my bullshit." percy said pointedly. i smile feebly, still feeling weak. "listen, i'm happy for you no matter what. piper seems good. you just have a lot of internal shit."
"yeah, i figured."
"let's do something fun." percy suggests. "let's go get ice cream and pizza and we can go see that museum that you like or just hang out at the park. i think grover and thalia might be free. alright?"
i take one last look at my email inbox. i close the laptop.
"alright."
YOU ARE READING
chasing an illusion - pipabeth
Fanfiction"i truly believe that i was meant to be yours, but it was never meant to be easy." it's been six years since what would have been a teenage whirlwind romance. six years since that hazy, translucent night. ever since, annabeth has long given up on lo...
