"i have a call, sorry, i really have to get this." i say, even though i don't. i call piper and walk away swiftly as it rings. my hearts sounds like drums of war in my chest. i feel unreasonably warm. everything seems to be on fire, as if my brain was overheating from the gears turning in them. my legs feel wobbly underneath me. i hear the uneven clicks of my feet under me.
thinking and calculating, what next, what next, what next? my thoughts are hardly coherent, they're flying so fast through my head. the phone keeps making that ringing sound. please, please, please pick up. i don't know what to do.
what next?
what now?
why me?
why now?
"piper?" i whisper frantically when she picks up.
"i just saw the article," piper says, her voice urgent. "maybe we can do something about it."
"my coworkers already saw it." i say as i enter an empty room and close the door behind me. i pace back and forth. "what should i do?"
"can it be helped? maybe..."
"i can't," i whisper.
"i know." piper says sadly.
"oh my god."
"annie, breathe." piper says gently.
i take a shaky breath and close my eyes, my hand gripping my hair in anxiety. i try to isolate my thoughts. i try to reason myself back into a facade of normalcy.
god, why now? i know it would have to happen eventually. but why like this? everything is falling out of my control again. i feel like i'm unraveling.
this is my fault, i think to myself. this is what you get for letting your guard down and putting down your weapon. this is why you fight war.
my chest hurts because i believe it.
"piper, i'm going to hang up, okay?" i say, my voice slowly going back to normal.
"okay."
"i'm going to say it. and i'll do it casually, but professionally. with authority." i say, mostly to myself. the best i can do is this. "i have no other choice."
"that may be true, but make it yours. it might be the only one, but let it be your choice." piper advises me. and even now, i love her. i love hearing her voice through the phone. i love her mind and the words that come forth and i can never forgive myself for it. no one quite understands me like she does. it's painful and relieving to know that no one ever will.
"i'll try."
"annabeth," piper says. "be the truth."
"the truth." i echo. but what is that? i was the one who said it first, but now the words have lost all meaning.
be the truth.
who was i fooling?
i hang up on piper and i gather my weapons. off to war. i raise my flag.
YOU ARE READING
chasing an illusion - pipabeth
Fanfiction"i truly believe that i was meant to be yours, but it was never meant to be easy." it's been six years since what would have been a teenage whirlwind romance. six years since that hazy, translucent night. ever since, annabeth has long given up on lo...
