Spark Into a Flame

Joey

Elliott and I had had sex for the first time earlier that year. It had been April. Elliott was a senior and his high school career was winding down. Some of my friends had lost their virginity already. I'd had the talk multiple times from multiple parents, so I knew what they hoped for me. That I would wait until I was in a committed, loving relationship, and that I would use protection.

Elliott and I had been going out for almost two years by that point. By high school standards, that was an eternity. My friends had given it up for way less. So one night when our parents were out at some function, we broke the door-open rule like we did whenever they were away. Things had gotten hot and heavy, and it felt right.

Afterwards, I hadn't felt that different. It had felt...weird. Painful sometimes, even. I guess I felt some pleasure, but definitely did not have a raging orgasm like you were supposed to. Over the next few months, we'd continued to have sex when we had the opportunity. I'm not sure if our parents suspected anything, but they didn't say anything or give us a follow-up sex talk.

I'd cried when we finished dropping Elliott off at college. Abuelo and Abuela had taken the little kids for the day, and we'd all gone out to move him in. There were tons of parents there, and a few boyfriends and girlfriends, it looked like. The whole day I was fighting back tears, dreading when we'd have to say goodbye.

Elliott had chuckled when I started to cry. He said we were only 45 minutes apart. A quick trip. To me, though, it felt like hundreds of miles. It was like he was in a totally different place. I was still stuck in high school with all these rules and homework and schedules, and his life was wide open. I'd helped him make his schedule. His earliest class was ten a.m. No parents, no curfew, no nothing. I wanted to be there with him.

To say I'd turned into an emotional wreck was putting it lightly. I was used to seeing Elliott constantly. We'd lived together for two years now and to all of a sudden have him gone was like losing a limb. I would burst out crying at random times, throwing my family for a loop. Pippa and Dad were so patient with me, though. They'd both hug me and assure me things would be okay. They were trying to make a point of spending time with me and taking me out places. It was sweet, but it didn't fix it.

Elliott had come home once, two weeks into his school year, but only for one night. I finally had the opportunity to spend at least part of a weekend with him and Dad was being all dad-ish about it. He wasn't going to let me stay over at his dorm? When we'd lived together for years? I knew it was a little different because we'd be in the same bed, but jeez.

I didn't want to disobey Dad, but I also really wanted to go. If I went he'd of course notice because I wouldn't be home. I'd be grounded and then I wouldn't see Elliott for even longer. It made me nervous not being able to see Elliott. He was surrounded by hot flirty college girls constantly. They were all perfectly able to shack up with him for the night. Why would he wait around for me? Why would he wait two more years for me to be in college and we could have the relationship we'd always wanted?

I laid down on my bed, holding my phone up over my face. I texted Elliott the bad news. He thought they were totally overreacting too, which made me feel better. Elliott suggested that I stay out and come home super early in the morning before they got up. Our parents weren't always awake when I came home, so it was a possibility.

It was a couple days away, so I told him I'd think about it. I'd at least get to be there for a lot of the evening. My soccer game ended around 4:00. I'd get in a quick shower and hopefully be to him by 5:30.

I turned my phone over on my bed so I could concentrate on my math homework. Kids all said the hardest year of high school was junior year. Everyone was trying to load up on hard classes so our transcripts would look good on college applications. I'm sure it was even more intense at Hunter than it was at other schools. Everyone was "gifted" and capable of taking AP classes. Many were applying to Ivy League Schools.