Spark Into a Flame

Joey

A/N: I'm in Neeeew Yoooooork for 5 weeks!! Maybe I'll see Lin again. 😊😊😊 anyone know where in the Heights they're actually filming ITH??

I absolutely didn't want to go to school on Monday. My weekend had been terrible and I didn't have the motivation to get excited about chemistry and economics. Dad was going to make me go but luckily Pippa took pity on me. It was nice sometimes to have another female in the house who understood these things.

I rolled back over after Pippa told me she'd call school to report me sick. Elliott hadn't texted me all weekend and I hadn't texted him either. It was the longest we'd gone without speaking to each other in years. I fell back asleep, back into the bliss of not having to think.

Dad came to wake me up around 11:00 to say I needed to get up. Still I had no desire to get up and face the day. My teachers posted class work on our Google Classroom along with our assignments but that probably wouldn't happen until later. I rolled over yet again and fell back asleep.

A while later I sensed someone climbing onto my bed. Alex. She curled up beside me, draping her little arm around me and giving me a little smile. Suddenly I felt a wave of tears come over me and I was crying.

"It's okay," she told me gently, mimicking my dad and Pippa as she rubbed at my arm. "Don't cry."

I wiped at my eyes a little, suddenly very glad to have my little sister with me. She could be so sweet and caring.

"Take some deep breaths," she instructed me and I let out a little breath. I saw her look over my shoulder at the door. "Daddy, Joey's crying."

"Oh no," I heard him say sympathetically, stepping in. A few moments later I felt the mattress move and Dad gently rubbed my arm. "Alex, why don't you go play with Jack for a minute?"

"Okay," she agreed, giving me a kiss on the cheek. She stood up and jumped off the bed, then scurried away. I knew I was in for a talk with Dad.

"How are you feeling?" he asked gently.

"Lethargic," I answered honestly. He gently tugged on my arm to get me to turn over.

"I know you're hurting," he told me. "And you probably don't want to hear this, but everyone goes through break-ups but life has to go on."

I sighed, waiting for him to finish so I could roll over and go back to sleep again.

"I understand you wanting to stay home from school today but you need to go back tomorrow," he said. "Otherwise you're gonna fall behind and get sucked into more sadness."

"Fine," I told him shortly. Dad and I were pretty close but I still didn't really want to talk to him about Elliott. I didn't really want to talk to Pippa or my mom either. All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and sleep.

Dad nodded, realizing he wasn't going to get anything else out of me. He kissed my forehead and stood, then meanly snatched away my sheets before I realized what he was doing.

"Daaaaad!" I complained, curling into a little ball.

"Up," he told me, tossing my covers in a pile on the opposite side of the room. "Take a shower. You'll feel better."

I growled as he left the room, knowing he was right but not wanting to admit it. After a few more minutes of feeling sorry for myself I reluctantly got up and grabbed some fresh clothes. I did feel a bit better after a shower but still felt like my heart had been ripped out and stomped on.

I knew I should have checked Google Classroom for my missed work but for once I just didn't care. Like almost everyone in my school, I was an overachiever and always very conscientious about my work. Right now, though, it just seemed so pointless. Who the hell cared about the Periodic Table of Elements when your heart was broken?

I checked my phone constantly and heard nothing from Elliott. Didn't he miss me? Of course he didn't. He'd broken up with me. I was the pesky high school girlfriend who was so less mature than him now. He'd probably already moved on. Right now, he was probably hanging out in the quad with a group of friends, his arm casually thrown around some buxom coed.

Pippa came to check on me in the evening but I wasn't very chatty. I went to bed at eight, exhausted. I didn't bother setting my alarm. Of course Dad came to wake me up around 7:30 when I hadn't emerged. I knew he wouldn't let me stay home a second day so I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower. After barely saying a word to my family I headed to school, a backpack full of unfinished homework.

When I didn't have my work throughout the day at school my teachers were surprised. Josephine Miranda, top 10% of her class and member of the debate team, without her homework? It was shocking. And the weird thing? I still didn't care.

I went home and slept.

When Pippa woke me for dinner I realized I'd barely eaten all day but my body didn't seem to care. I sat with my family and picked at the pasta and chicken, eating only a little bit.

"May I be excused?" I asked Pippa and Dad. They looked at my plate, then each other.

"Don't you want to eat a little bit more?" Pippa asked gently. "You've barely eaten anything."

I shrugged. "My stomach's a little upset," I semi-lied.

Pippa nodded and I took my plate to the sink. I disappeared to my room.

The next week or so was about the same. I went to school and went through the motions. I did the minimal amount of work to keep teachers off my back. I went to soccer and debate practice, but my heart wasn't in anything. What was wrong with me?

One night Pippa cornered me. "We need to talk," she said, sitting on my unmade bed. I was turtling, as I liked to call it. Hoodie pulled up to my nose, surrounded by blankets. I stared at my laptop screen, waiting for her to continue. She rudely took it, closed it, and set it aside.

"You're not okay," she told me bluntly. I crinkled my eyebrows and stared at her. I knew I wasn't okay but I didn't want to hear it from her.

"You sleep all the time," she went on, "You're barely eating. Are you getting your homework done?"

I shrugged.

"Joey, I'm used to seeing an energetic, go-getter teenager," she said. "You're like a shell of yourself right now. Your dad just got a call from your debate coach. You told them you wanted to take a break?"

"I want to focus on my studies," I lied. I just didn't want to do anything right now. I didn't have the energy.

"Focus on your studies?" she asked. "Joey, your dad and I aren't helicopter parents, but there's no way you're keeping up with your school work. You come home from school and take a nap, then you go to bed early. You don't go out with your friends. Sweetheart, I think you're depressed."

"Fine," I told her, reaching for my laptop. "I'm depressed. Can I get back to my work now?"

I opened up my laptop again, typing in my password.

"I think we need to take you to the doctor," she said after watching me.

I sighed and typed away. Pippa didn't say anything else. Just stood up and left me to be. After she'd left, though, I let my head fall back against the wall. I gently pounded it a couple times. Was I really getting that bad? I knew I was still upset about Elliott but kids like me didn't get depressed. My dad was a source of sunshine and positivity to the world. How could he have a kid that was such a gray cloud of blah?

I sighed and closed the laptop, tossing it aside. I wasn't in the mood. Once again, I curled up in a ball and closed my eyes, temporarily escaping from the cruel world.