Spark Into a Flame

Pippa

A/N:  I hate to do this, but I need to backtrack a little!  I've realized I don't quite have enough 'up in the air' and need some more drama.  So, Pippa and Lin are not married yet.  They're engaged and in the process of planning their wedding.  I'll go back and edit past chapters.

I sat at the kitchen table one afternoon, my Excel spreadsheet opened up on my laptop and a variety of papers spread around me.  I was too cheap to hire a wedding planner, so I was doing it all myself.  Lin was mostly indifferent about what the wedding would be like.  He kept saying 'whatever you think' or 'whatever you want', which was nice in a way but also somewhat frustrating.  I didn't want to make all these decisions by myself.

Lin was in the middle of a phone call, walking around the kitchen area as I worked.  I rubbed at my temple, trying to decide on some seating for the reception.  Lin hung up and sighed.

"Lin, which of your cousins would be okay to sit with some of my friends?" I asked him.  "I can't get all them at the same tables."

Lin walked over with his coffee mug in his hand, looking over the collection of circles with names written in pencil.  Many had been erased multiple times.  I was probably overthinking things, but that was my nature.  That's why I needed Lin to decide this.

"Whoever," he said.  "They're all cool."

I sighed.  "Lin, please just tell me," my voice was showing my frustration.  "I need you to make some decisions."

I felt his hand on my shoulder, giving me a squeeze.  "Okay," he told me.  He rattled off a couple names and I wrote them in pencil on a fresh circle.  I then added some names of some of my friends who I knew were easy-going.

"You want some more tea?" he asked me, sensing I was stressed.

"Sure," I told him, setting down my pencil.  I stretched my arms over my head, cracked my neck, and then stood up.  I'd been at this for a couple hours and probably needed a break.  I wanted our day to be special but it was really starting to stress me out.

As my tea brewed, I let my torso bend back a bit, letting my hands rest on my head.  Lin came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my middle.  "Hey," he said gently, giving me a quick kiss on the back of the neck.  "Don't stress out.  It'll be great."

I sighed, letting my hands rest on his arms.  "It won't be if we don't get the arrangements right."

"If it's stressing you out so much, we should get a wedding planner," he said again.  He'd wanted to get one from the beginning.  "We have the money."

"No," I told him.  "Elliott's in college and Joey's not far behind.  We've got two more.  I'd rather spend our money saving for college."

He didn't respond, just held me a bit longer.  The kettle started screaming so he wandered off to pour my tea.  "Take a break," he told me.  "Go for a walk, maybe."

He set my fresh mug on the counter and wandered down the hallway to our bedroom.  I hoped I wasn't being bitchy.  It's just that everyone would expect things to be perfect.  I wanted the day to go off without a glitch.

I sighed as I collapsed on the couch with my tea.  I tried to push out the thoughts as I blew on my hot tea and relaxed for a few minutes.  The daytime when Jack and Alex were both at school, and late at night was the only time I could work on it.  I felt pressure to be productive and get a lot done.  The kids were going to their grandparents for the weekend so I was hoping to make a lot of progress.

Friday rolled around and Joey was beside herself with excitement about her sleepover for the weekend with her new friend Jada.  I'd met her a couple times when she'd been over and seemed like a good kid.  Apparently they had some big project they were working on.  As Joey was rushing around getting her things packed, the little kids were in high spirits because their grandparents would soon be picking them up.  I realized as the doorbell rang that Lin and I would have a kid-free weekend.  We hadn't had one of those in a very long time.