Spark Into a Flame

Joey

Everyone hated me.

Everyone was in trouble.  Deep.  And it was all my fault apparently.  How was it that the rest of the girls had been buying weed gummy bears and cookies for who knows how long, and I try a few over the weekend and get caught? 

Because I'm me, and I have the worst luck.  And a nosy little sister.  On Monday morning I trudge into school, dreading the day because everyone on the soccer team now hates me.  I won't be here for long, though.  At 9 a.m. my dad and some of the other soccer parents are all coming in to discuss the situation.  We'll all be suspended and any chance of making it to the state playoffs are shot.

I walk down the high school hallway, keeping my eyes focused on the back of the head of the kid ahead of me.  I refuse to hang my head in shame.  I'm not the one who had them in the first place.  That was Abby.  If anyone should be the new school pariah it should be her.  I'm sure she was dealing to not just the soccer team, but other kids too.

Even though I don't look, I feel the stares.  I walk to my locker, head high, and my fingers automatically twist out my combination.  As I put away my books from the weekend and get out what I need for the first two periods, I sense someone come up beside me.

"Way to go," a random sophomore kid, Brendan, tells me, looking smug.  He's some super rich kid who already has a car even though he lives in New York City.

"What?" I ask, glancing at him.  "Did you finally realize you're an unspeakable wretch, thanks to my highly innovative insults?"

If he thought I was going to cower, he was highly mistaken.  It took him a moment to digest my sentence.  "You cut off the whole school's supply!"

"Yeah?" I stuffed my English notebook into my backpack.  "Well I'm sorry that now you might have to find a menacing drug dealer on the street like everyone else.  Tell someone who gives a shit."

I slammed my locker and glared at him.  "Heinous bitch."

"I bite my thumb at you," I Shakespeared him, performing the action as I glared right at him.  As I turned to walk the other way I almost slammed into Abby.  So much for a triumphant getaway.

"Abby," I said flatly, looking at her upturned face.  I was surprised she actually showed up today.  We all knew we'd be suspended so several members of the team just stayed home.  My dad was apparently a glutton for punishment, wanting me to actually have to face the principal and own up to my misdeeds.  I guess Abby's parents were the same way.

She glared at me for a moment and then moved to step around me.  I huffed and turned in place.  "What?  No love?" I called after her.

She stopped in place and turned back to face me, hands perched on her backpack straps.  "You know, maybe you could come down from your high horse and actually feign a bit of responsibility?  I didn't have any problems until I shared with you."

I did feel shitty about it.  At home yesterday when Pippa and Dad found me out it was one of the worst moments of my life.  Despite how the media sometimes paints teenagers, I actually do care what my parents think of me and so do my friends.  I want to please them and I usually do. I overachieve like my life depends on it and rarely cause problems.  My dad's approval meant everything to me and to see him so disappointed in me was crushing.  To the world and to me, he was this ray of sunshine - always positive and ready for a smile or a laugh.  When that went away, it was like my heart was being trampled on.

I don't know why, but I felt like I still needed to put up a front.  At school, I had to be confident and capable.  Hunter was highly competitive and other kids could smell fear.  If I walked around with my tail between my legs, everyone would pounce.  Thrown to the wolves.  This place could chew kids up and spit them out like nothing.  No, I wasn't going to do that.  I was going to be my normal, sassy, quick-thinking school self.  Slightly different than my home self, but still Joey.