Spark Into a Flame

Pippa

Lin and I had gotten the kids down at a decent time Friday night and we were happy to have an evening to ourselves. Joey was with Elliott and was due back at midnight. Lin and I were making out heavily on the couch when we heard the key in the lock. We jumped apart like two teenagers caught by their parents.

Joey walked in, crying softly and looking stunned. Lin was instantly on his feet, rushing to her. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly, taking her face between his hands. "Are you hurt?"

She shook her head and let out a sob. Lin cradled her head, bringing it to his shoulder. I quietly joined them, sitting on the bar stool next to where they stood as I waited sympathetically. I knew she'd been with Elliott and was afraid something had gone wrong.

Lin gently shooshed her and just held her for several long minutes. When she was finally calming down I passed her a couple tissues and she started to dab at her face. "What happened?" he asked again gently.

"Elliott broke up with me," she told us. We let out sympathetic sounds and Lin rubbed at her arm.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he told her. "I know you mean a lot to each other."

Often she was such a tough kid so it was hard to see her so broken. It was slightly awkward since my son was the reason she was so crushed. I don't think either one of them was in the wrong; I think they were just growing apart.

"Why don't you sit down and I'll make you some hot chocolate," I offered. She nodded and went off to her room to change. Lin straightened up the couch as I got out three mugs.

"Have you heard from Elliott?" Lin asked me from the living room.

"Pshno," I brushed that off. "He's not going to call his mother after a break up."

"Good point," he said, scrolling through his phone. "I thought this would happen eventually."

"I know," I said quietly. "But it's still crazy hard."

He nodded as Joey came out, in her sweatpants and Hamilton star hoodie. She looked cozy and ready to turtle. Lin and I brought the mugs over and we sat around. Joey took hers and stared straight ahead. Lin and I shared concerned glances.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked her gently. She shrugged, staring blankly. I set my mug down and scooted a little closer to her.

"You've been together for a long time so I'm sure this is all hard to take in," I said, rubbing her arm lightly. "It's okay to be upset. We can talk or not. It's up to you."

She opened her mouth to talk then closed it again. We waited for her patiently. "Maybe we can just watch a dumb movie?"

"That sounds great," I smiled at her, putting my hand over hers. "Lin, pull up Netflix."

Lin found the remote and connected it. Soon we'd found a silly movie and Joey cuddled up with her dad. I knew Lin relished moments like this, when she wanted to be with him and she wasn't so grown up. He hated that she was upset, of course, but it was good to feel needed. Joey fell asleep by the end of the movie and Lin carried her to bed.

Before I went to bed myself, I checked in on her. She was sleeping deeply, able to escape from her sorrow within her dreams.

____

The next day Joey was quiet while the other two were full of energy. She wandered out of her bedroom close to eleven o'clock while the kids were fighting over the Batman action figure. Joey squinted like she was hungover as she went to the fridge. After fixing herself some cereal she plopped down at the breakfast bar, resting her head in hand.

"How you doing?" I asked her gently, refilling Jack's sippy cup.

"Fantastic," she mumbled, rubbing at her eye with the heel of her hand.

"Do you have a game today?" I asked her and she nodded as she took her first bite.

"Two o'clock," she reported. "Don't come."

"Why not?" I asked gently.

She shrugged. "I'll probably play like crap. I just feel it."

I nodded and watched her as I moved around the kitchen. Lin came out of our room after finishing a call and kissed Joey's temple. "Morning."

Lin and I got busy with the kids and Joey fell through the cracks a bit that morning. She spent most of the time in her room and around 1:00 she came out dressed in her soccer uniform. I'd told Lin she didn't want us there but he insisted he at least went because she could use a cheering section on a tough day. He decided to take Alex with him since she loved soccer so much.

After they'd left I pulled out my phone and called up Elliott to get the full scoop. I figured he'd be up by 1:30 in the afternoon and luckily I was right.

"Hi, sweetheart," I greeted him.

"Sweetheart?" he asked me.

I sighed. "We heard from Joey that you two broke up. I figured you needed some TLC."

"I'm fine, Mom," he assured me, and I could practically picture him rolling his eyes.

"Are you sure?" I asked him. "Because I can come down there. Make you some soup."

I knew I was such a mom. I didn't like to think of my son upset, even if he was basically grown. "No, Mom," he grumbled like he was five years old. I smirked a little, thinking about how he'd changed so much but could still sound the same way. "How's Joey?"

"Subdued," I told him honestly. "She's obviously upset."

"Yeah," he said, sounding defeated. "It just wasn't working anymore."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" I asked. I was partially being selfish, wanting to know more details.

"Not really," he told me. "It's just that I'm in college now and she's still in high school. It's too complicated."

"Well, maybe once she graduates you can see if you're still interested in each other," I suggested. "Are you coming home for Labor Day next weekend?"

"Mom," he said simply, like I was an idiot. "That would be super awkward."

"Well, I'd like to see you," I pointed out. It was hard going weeks without seeing my baby.

"Then FaceTime me," he suggested.

"That's not the same," I told him. "Come on. You'll have to come home eventually and face it."

"Not when it's so fresh," he said.

"Well, think about it," I told him. "For me."

"Okay," he told me, probably to pacify me. I doubted he'd come but I could hope. I was his mother so I could hear in his voice that he wasn't completely okay. He didn't sound as devastated as Joey was, but he was still upset. I wish he would talk to me like he did when he was a little kid. Now he was becoming a man, even breaking girls' hearts. He'd broken Joey's heart suddenly, but mine had been breaking for a long time as he slowly pulled away from me and became his own man.

I was a mother without her child, wanting to hold him.