His Darling

His Darling | 20

a/n: Hello! It's been months, please read several chapters if you don't know what's going on. Enjoy!❤️ i'll try not to suck at updating  💔❤️ Thank you for the support! xox

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CHAPTER TWENTY

Waking up from a deep, consuming slumber was the worst. I felt horrible, and last night's conversation with Xander still fresh in my mind didn't make it any better. As I tried to open my eyes I could feel how dry they were from last night's tears. I rubbed them, slowly sitting up.

What I witnessed almost made me scream.

Blood, like a dark pool, everywhere, all around me. On my silk dress, on the white-sheeted bed and the white covers. It looked like poison against the snow-white of the bed. I quickly got up and off the bed, repulsed, embarrassed and angry.

It wasn't until then that I noticed that I was the only one with white sheets.

I snatched the covers and sheets, scrunching them together in a ball. Frustration and anger came to me in harsh waves, and I felt the start of new tears coming. What a sick joke.

I ran to the bathroom, opening the tap to the tub and letting the water run. I poured some soap and took my dress off, feeling like I hadn't showered in days.

My bath wasn't as pleasant as it should've been. I was tense, and I couldn't stop staring at the ring on my finger. I'd have to take it off soon before leaving the room.  I fought the urge to say the words. There was no point. But I wanted to. I wanted to scream at Xander, make him hurt like I was hurt.

The thought was selfish, but I did not care.

After washing my hair I rinsed off, stepping out of the tub. I grabbed a towel from the basket and that's when I looked out the window. The sun was setting. I slept for at least fifteen hours.

There was a knock on my door and I wrapped the towel around me to find Juliette when I opened the door.
"Raven," she looked relieved to see me.

"Hey," I said, then turned around, going through the drawers for undergarments. I was surprised to find pads. She was talking, first about me, then about one of the girls I think, but her voice was muffled. My mind was somewhere else. Deep in memory. Terrible memories, and thoughts. Ripping, heart wrenching and self loathing thoughts.

"Raven" her hand was gripping my arm.

I glared at her. "What."

"Are you okay?" Her eyes, always so gentle, looked deep into mine.

My face was hot and wet. I had been crying without realizing. It was becoming a habit I despised. "I'm fine," I said, and put one one of the two pairs of jeans available to me. Along with a plain white tee.

"Stop lying. You're not fine—"

"How do you expect me to be, huh, Juliette? Happy? Grateful? Because I'm not. I hate it here. I hate this life. I know you don't have it any better—if anything you probably have it worse." I knew she did. I glanced at her. She came closer, but I held my hand up. "I don't want your pity. God knows I hate it. Just—"

"It's them."

I looked her. "Who?"

"Whoever kept you. You're like this because of them,"

Why was it so hard not to think of him?

Silence followed after that. I was breathing hard. Actually hearing myself voice part of my thoughts was frightening. And Juliette's realization did not make it better. How did she know? I was like this because of him. Xander started it all.

I could feel her stare as I looked to the side.

"Whatever happens," I began. "I did it for myself, to myself."

"Don't take Chris down with you," she begged.

I looked at her. The question on the tip of my tongue. "Do you love him?"

She broke eye contact. Her hands began to fidget. "It's complicated." She paused. "You would not understand unless you were in my situation. "

I was curious, really, to say the least. But then I realized if she wanted to go into detail, she would have. So instead I said. "Okay. I think you should talk to him," and that was all.

Juliette was looking at the sheets scrunched by the bed. "You've got your period?"

I nodded, the thought itself making me shudder.

her gaze seemed to be set alive. "You are blessed"

I looked at her. "How?"

"None of us have gotten ours since we arrived. None of us can bear here,"

I was silent. "This is no place for children anyway," I told her, a little shocked that this was even a conversation. Did Cole have any plans on impregnating me?

"you're not wrong," she said. "And that is why I envy the women on earth. So warm...and safe," she seemed lost in thought. A silent yearn that could only be noticeable by the way she spoke.

"Do you ever want to leave?" I asked without thinking. Juliette would blossom on earth.

Her head snapped up. But she shrugged. "Maybe. I miss it, sometimes. But not enough to leave Cole. He is all I have,"

Come with me. Help me kill Cole and come with me. I'll show you the sun and the moon and the stars. You'll be free. You'll scream and jump in joy because you won't ever have to hide.
I wanted to say. So bad,
but I knew better.

"Of course," my voice was subtle. "And Christian? Is he just part of the less fortunate?"

She shook her head. "No. Never," she breathed out, turning around and walking towards the window. Her dress seemed in sync with her and her movements. I followed them. "I met Christian at a very low point in my life. He saved me...And our connection is just...something I've never experienced before," her voice was almost dreamy, almost sad. It brought unexpected and unwanted emotions.

"I miss him," I admitted, hating myself for it. I miss Xander so much. And my parents. My mother's voice. Her humming. My dad's manly scent. It was strange. I longed to see my parents in a completely different way that I longed to see Xander.

Maybe because he was my only ticket out.

Juliette had approached me, which I had not noticed until now. She looked curious. "Who is he?"

Oh no. My heart was beating fast. I'm saying too much, giving away too much to this stranger—

There was a knock on the door.

When I didn't say anything, Juliette spoke, "come in,"

The door opened before she could've uttered those words out and—

Juliette bowed her head. I knew I was supposed to do the same too. Juliette's eyes were trying to find me. Instead, I looked straight ahead.

"And still," he said, "she persists," the ghost of a smile lingered on his lips.

I walked towards him, his eyes slowly and deliberately roamed my face. I could see a silent hunger in them. The kind of hunger that was greedy, powerful, and twisted.

I was close enough to hear his breathing. I looked up at him, for a moment I tried to picture Max, or Xander. But it was hard when Cole's presence was like a dense dark cloud. And his eyes, dark as a void, made me want to disappear.

I knew I was going to regret this.

My hand reached up to touch his face. He quickly caught it in his. 
His grip was strong, painful.

His eyes met mine. It was terrifying, how close he was. I felt my cheeks redden as I became flustered before he let go of my wrist, observing. I breathed lightly and my palm touched his cheek.

"What are you doing, Raven?" His eyes, the same ones that stared at me right before breaking Elenor's neck, never left me.

I looked at them, a dark fire rising. "I'm ready to serve."