Of Everything That Could've Been - Bellamy Blake [2]

Chapter 6 - Fog of War

Myles' panicked, heavy breaths and the repetitive clicking of a pen echo around her, bouncing off of the walls of the small metal box she's in. It's the middle of the night, and the red haired teen rocks herself inside of a small vent in Alpha Station. Clarke and the redhead had spent the day before drawing maps, Myles of the tunnels and the blonde of the inside of Mount Weather. They'd gone over the maps several times with Bellamy before calling it a night early on in the evening. After not sleeping at all for the last two nights, and only managing to doze off for a couple of minutes throughout the day, the redhead was exhausted. It hadn't taken long for the girl to pass out, and it took even less time for the memories and pain to come flooding back.

She'd left the Blake brother alone in his tent in a flurry of panic almost an hour ago, and now Myles tries desperately to calm her rapidly pounding heart and hide from the flashes of white coats, large needles and drills that blind her wide hazel eyes. She's too scared to blink, keeping her eyes held wide open for as long as she can as her shaking hands cover her head protectively. Tears pour down her warm and flushed face as distressed squeaks bubble out of her, blending in with her panting breaths and incoherent mutterings.

"You're okay," Myles whispers shakily, clicking the silver pen Abby had given her days ago quickly. Images of grounders being strung upside down and drained for blood before being tossed for the reapers to feast on mingle with the shot up grounders Finn had killed two days ago. "Not real," the red haired teen whimpers, bashing her head with her hard splint several times. "Not real, Not real, Not real."

Suddenly, a loud banging sounds from the small entrance the teen had crawled in from, a white flashlight bleeding into the vent with her. Myles shrinks back, flinching her violently shaking body away from the people as she drowns slowly, her burning eyes searing at the bright light. Choking on a thick haze that no one else can see, parts of her body and mind replay Mount Weather on a loop that refuses to end. The red haired teen continues to cry as she tries to get away from Doctor Tsing and green-eyes with their flashlights, the small flickers of being transported back to their table now completely consuming her world. Nausea fills her, smothering her with a fuzzy numbness that trickles through her veins.

"Myles?" A young woman calls out softly, "Myles, it's okay. You're safe here. You know you're safe here. Will you come out for me?"

The redhead tries to shake her head wordlessly as she descends further and further into madness, her body feeling as if the life is being forcefully sucked out of her with the power of a vacuum cleaner as it trembles viciously. She just wishes people would stop saying she's safe, because she's not. How can she be safe if she's never really here, when she's constantly zapping back to Mount Weather as if she never left?

Any second, her best friends could be tortured and drained for their blood. Any second, the rest of the delinquents could be tortured and drained for their blood. Any second, the grounders could retaliate for Finns horrific crime at their village. Any second, her father could walk through the gate and into Camp Jaha. Any second, Bellamy could find someone better, someone whole, someone who's hands are clean of blood.

"Hey, baby," Bellamy breathes out gently from the hole in the wall. "You're okay. What you're seeing isn't real. Can you come here to me?"

Myles doesn't acknowledge the man, just continues clicking her pen as she rocks back and forth. Warm, thick tears cascade down her delicate features as she silently begs for the pain to just end. Shuffling is heard from the direction the mans loving voice came from, promptly followed by the sounds of clothes brushing against the vents walls as someone crawls through to join the hyperventilating teen. Hazel eyes don't swivel around to see who it is, too terrified of seeing someone or something that isn't really there, so they stay plastered on her bare knees and the metal sheet in front of her.