Do you remember?

Chapter Eight

I finished reading Rowan's diary hours ago. There were so many things she felt like she couldn't tell me. There were tears pouring down my face. I told her everything and I what I thought was everything about her, was only half of her. I don't know why she felt like she couldn't tell me, I was here this whole time. My eyes burned. Lord knows how long I've cried. I clenched her diary in my hands, angry at her for making me read them when she could have told me. I threw the diary at my dresser. One of the pictures of us fell on the floor, shattering just like our friendship. I walked over picking up the glass, squeezing my fist against the sharp shards. Blood dripped from my hand. The pain felt nice. It was relieving. I squeezed harder until sharp shoots of pain shot up my arm and my palm was covered in a pool of blood.

I walked down to the kitchen, realizing that I actually extremely hurt myself. The few seconds of satisfaction that the pain brought me was not worth the pain felt now. I ran my hand under cold water, groaning at the sensation of the cold against my open flesh. I applied pressure to my hand with a towel, crying for reasons I wasn't even sure of now. I felt so empty, worthless, useless. I spotted my mom's liquor that was sitting on our cabinet. There was a part of me that told me 'no' but a bigger part of me told me 'yes'. I forced myself up from the kitchen floor and grabbed the brand new bottle of vodka. I twisted the top off overwhelmed from the scent once it was opened. I closed my eyes, lifting the bottle to my lips and I took a swig. It burned it my mouth and throat, plus the taste was terrible yet I took five or so more sips. I sat myself back on the ground holding the bottle between my legs, taking another sip as soon as the burning from the last one dissipated. That is all I remember.

"Doctor, she is beginning to regain consciousness." a woman's voice said.

I looked around confused. There was a breathing mask covering my nose and mouth and tubes coming out of my arms.

"Where... where am I?" I asked, trying to sit up.

"Valencia, honey... You are in the hospital. There is an unsafe amount of alcohol in your body. Please honey just lie down..." My mom was sitting beside me, holding one of my hands.

"Where's Theo?" I said trying to sit up again.

"Honey, he is at school right now. His father said he will be over immediately when school is over. If it were up to Theo though he would be here right now and you know that."

I nodded. My body ached and my hand was excruciating to move. I wanted to be in my own bed, in my own room and by myself.

"You should give Theo more of a chance, he is one of the sweetest guys you will ever meet." My mom said, tears coming to her eyes.

I wanted to tell her that he was just a friend but I was to mentally tired. I felt my eyes begin to flutter and the last thing I heard was my mom humming me a song that we sang at my fathers funeral.

When I woke up this time my mom was gone and Theo was replacing her. He was just staring at me. I felt a blush come to my cheeks.

"Why do you keep staring at me?" I asked, feeling self-conscious.

"You look beautiful when you sleep. You had a tiny smile spread across your face and I knew you were dreaming." He said, still not breaking his gaze.

"Stop it!" I said a little more forceful.

I most likely looked like death. My hair was probably terrible. My makeup was probably smudged. My body was reeking the smell of liquor. Even I could smell it.

"I can't help it that I think your beautiful." He said shrugging.

He lounged back on the chair, placing his feet on the edge of the hospital bed. His backpack was thrown on the floor beside him.

"Val, I never want you to feel so alone or saddened that this happens again. Call me. I'll come running to your rescue. I always do and I always will."

I suddenly felt guilty. I didn't deserve him. I never have. I am the one messing up everything and for some reason he always puts me back to together.

"I don't deserve someone like you." I said quietly.

His eyes shot up and I saw a glimmer of hope flash through them. He cleared his throat after we exchanged a minute of awkward eye contact.

"I think Nolan is using the fake name of Jared King. I snuck back on my dad's laptop. Also I think that he is operating out of this warehouse," he said handing me a map.

The building was a mile away from where Rowan's body was found in the hotel room. It would have been easy for him to transport her body, it is in the industrial side of town. No one is there at night. There are no apartments there and the closest spot where people could be is that hotel.

"Seems right to me. What is our next step?" I asked handing him back the map.

"Our next step is nothing. You are clearly not mentally and emotionally ready for this right now. I am going to handle it on my own." Theo said, almost to cocky.

I removed the breathing mask from my face, he wouldn't take me seriously if I still had it on.

"I swear to God if you go looking for him by yourself I will kill you. I wouldn't even have to kill because you would already be dead! Nolan is capable of hurting a family member so I imagine that it wouldn't be any better for a stranger," my voice cracked and I began to cry, "Please just wait. If anything happens to you I will have no body left."

He got up and sat on the edge of the bed, wiping my tears away with his thumb.

"I need you to much..." I whispered.

I lifted my arms up and placed them around his neck which took all my strength. I softly pulled his head towards mine until our mouths were mere inches apart. I could feel his warm breaths that were beginning to quicken. Suddenly he pulled away and quickly got up, beginning to pace the room.

"I thought that is what you've wanted." I said tears burning the back of my eyes.

"I want you to want me, not when your feeling 'good' from all the painkillers they have you on right now. I would never take advantage of you like that even if it is only just a kiss. I don't want you to do anything unless your completely and positively sure because we have a friendship to think about and neither of us can afford to lose each other."

I smiled over how much he cared. He sat back down on the edge of my bed, kissing my forehead. I rolled over from my back to face him. He tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear.

"After you get out of the hospital and you still want to give me a shot. We can try it but for now you need to rest"

*i hope I have gave Theo justice. I want his character to be different than most teenage boys. I want the reader to be able to see his kindness and tenderness towards Val. Comment your thoughts of his character*