Do you remember?

Chapter Twenty Three

I knew that I should go back home but I couldn't. I had just been reunited with Rowan, now Raelyn. I couldn't bear to leave her. I had just gotten her back. Theo was clouding my mind. I had his number pulled up on my phone but I couldn't bear to hit call. I didn't known what to tell him. what was I supposed to say? Btw Rowan isn't dead. He must be worried sick, probably thinking that he has lost me again. Raelyn walked into our room and plopped down onto her bed. I quickly shut off my phone, I didn't want her to know I was thinking about calling Theo.

"We should go sightseeing." She sighed, "but we can't. Because I'm dead right now."

We both let out a little giggle. We had to find humor in the situation. We just had to. She tried her hardest not to answer any of my questions. Although it bothered me, I respected her boundaries. This was a new part of our friendship, privacy.

"How's my mom holding up?" Raelyn asked.

"Uhhh, she took a few month break from her job to deal with it. She's been trying to keep herself busy."

I couldn't bear to tell her that she started smoking again and took several trips to the liquor store a week. Ms. Oliver was barely holding on. My mother paid her several visits throughout the week and each time she went the worse her mom was doing. Raelyn didn't need to know everything that her mother was going through, it would be too much to handle.

"Truth or Dare," Raelyn said after a long awkward silence.

"Truth." I said.

She smiled and threw her head back, tapping her chin. I loved when she was silly, it reminded me of the old Rowan. Memories flooded my mind. Sitting around bonfires while the leaves fell around us, sipping spiked apple cider. Days lounged beside the pool tanning in our bikinis. Shopping trips that lasted for hours and we would go home and take turns running each others feet. I felt tears come to my eyes. We would never be able to those things anymore.

"Do you want to go back home?" she asked, nervously.

"I can't just stay here. I have school and Theo..." I said, my heart fluttering when I said his name.

"Oh my god!! You have a thing for Theo don't you!" she gasped and screamed at the same time.

I felt my cheeks turn red, feeling embarrassed. She laughed so hard that no noise came out. I didn't understand what was so funny about Theo and I liking each other.

"I remember you saying that if you ever liked him that I had permission to knock some sense into you." she said when she calmed down enough to speak.

I had vague memory of saying that but I cracked a smile. It sounded terrible but I would rather be with Theo than Raelyn. I felt like I barely knew her. I was never getting my Rowan back. We fell into yet another silence that lasted too long. I wanted to talk but I didn't even know what to talk about. Homesickness rushed through my body. I laid down onto the bed and hugged a pillow to me, pretending it was Theo I was hugging. I wanted to be home.