candles and cotton | b.h

thirty three.

ben, who noticed my sudden stillness followed my eyes to the table i was staring at.

"y/n-" he said, grasping my hand in his, i pulled it away, "thanks but no thanks, benny. i need.. i need to go to the bathroom."

i stood up and walked in the direction of the bathroom, making eye contact with caitlin on the way.

she widened her eyes at me, she looked pretty, in a floral blouse and light blue jeans, wait. i shouldn't think that.

not when the girl she was holding hands with was pretty too.

she pulled her hand from the girl's and stood up, i walked into the bathroom calmly, locking a stall door just as she walked in.

"y/n- i'm so- so sorry! i-"

"no." i said, it was supposed to sound stern, but it came out as weak and strained, "you're sorry that you got caught."

there was a pause.

"i-i.. did you even love me, y/n?"

her words cut through me like a knife.

"what? of- ofcourse i did! i loved you with all my heart!"

i heard a small thump as she leaned against the door, "really? because you and ben seemed to be real cosy lately, piggybacks, going to his house, he even called your name while he slept."

"that-"i was shocked, "that was nothing! ben and i are friends! you know that! don't blame me for your behavior! you know i loved you!"

"are you serious, y/n? are you that thick?"her voice was thick with emotion, "ben's in love with you! do you see the way he looks at you? even cheryl knew. y/n, he's mad about you, i know that now."

i sobbed, i didn't realise the hot tears that slipped down my cheeks, "he-he's not- that was a joke he p-played-"

"god y/n, i've known since that halloween party! he kissed you! drunk kiss or not. drunk words are sober thoughts. or in this case, actions."

"he isn't. he's not. you're a liar. you're a cheater. i wouldn't hurt you like that, why you to me? who is she?"

"her name.. is sierra taylor. i met her online.."

i sniffed then wiped my eyes with the heel of my hand, "um right, okay."

i unlocked the door, then stepped out, caitlin's cheeks were tearstained, i glared at her, i grabbed tissue from the bathroom to wipe my face.

"y/n.. i hope you find happiness.."

i scoffed, "what a stupid thing to say."