candles and cotton | b.h

thirty four.

ben was waiting outside the bathroom for me, he put a hand around my shoulders, but i shrugged them off.

i walked to our table, it was full of awkward silence, "okay," i began, "let's just eat and get out of here, right?"

they nodded, what could they say?

ben put an arm around my shoulders, and as much as i wanted to push him off, i needed it, so i leaned into his shoulder and put my head in the crook of his neck.

"hi! here's your breakfast! enjoy!"

i furrowed my brows as a stack of steaming chocolate chip pancakes and vanilla ice cream was placed in front of me.

"you didn't really get a chance to order, so i got you these.."

i gave ben a sheepish smile, his eyes shone with a sort of sadness and pity, i don't like being pitied.
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"A-AND I REALLY LOVED HER? YOU KNOW? AND I JUST- I-IT HURTS-"

another sob wrecked my body, i trembled as another wave of pain coursed through me.

david held me against his body, his hands playing with my knotty hair.

"the thing about pain is.. it demands to be felt,"david mumbled, his face pressed against my hair.

my apartment was empty, rosie, joe and ben found it best to leave david and i alone, though ben was reluctant.

"AND SHE BLAMED ME! SHE THOUGHT I WAS CHEATING ON HER WITH BEN! BEN!"my voice cracked, i sniffed, nuzzling my face in david's neck.

"come on, girly. let's eat our body weight and watch dirty dancing, i can't wait to see patrick swayze shirtless."

i get out a choked giggle, david smiled into my hair, "that's it, come on."

he pulled me off my bed and onto my feet, i wore another pair of joe's boxers, dark blue this time and a hoodie.

my hair was messy and my cheeks had mascara running down them in grey lines.

we walked into the kitchen, where my phone lay on the counter, countless missed calls and messages from ben, joe and rosie.

david took his phone from his jacket which was thrown onto the couch and began ordering an insane amount of food.

once he ended the call, he turned and smiled at me, "let's get faaaaattt.."

i wiped my eyes with my palm and let my lips shape themselves into a smile.

david took the liberty of going threw my kitchen in search of snacks.

"you literally have no fucking sweets."

"i eat healthily, as a matter of fact."

"you like vegetables as much as i like boobs, fat ass."