Perrie's Dilemma

Chapter 18

"W-what" Leigh-Anne stuttered. I could hear the hurt in her voice making my heart break.

"I kissed Jade" I repeated.

I looked up and saw tears rolling down her face. Seeing the hurt in her eyes made me cry.

"How could you"

"Leigh I'm sorry" I said grabbing her hand.

"Don't touch me" she snapped pulling her hand away.

"Leigh please, let me explain"

"Explain what Perrie you cheated on me, with my best friend" the tears were rolling faster but I could tell she was mad.

"It was just a kiss please Leigh-Anne it didn't meant anything" That was a lie but I can't lose her.

"Then why do it"

"I don't know she was upset and it just happened"

"Oh okay well that makes it okay then" she said sarcastically.

"No of course not, please Leigh it won't happen again" I pleaded trying to grab her hand.

"I can't do this Perrie it's over" she cried as she ran out.

I collapsed on the floor it felt like my heart was being ripped into a million pieces. I've never felt so lost in my entire life. What have I done. About half an hour later I managed to drag myself up from the floor and went to my bedroom locking the door. I just wanted to crawl into a ball and die.

My phone started to ring but I ignored it whoever it was was being persistent ringing me over and Over again. I got my phone and saw 5 miss calls from Jesy 3 from Zayn and 1 from Jade. I didn't want to see or speak to anyone so I just turned my phone off and just laid there on my bed in a fetal position hoping it would take the pain away.

I must have fallen asleep because next thing I hear is someone banging on my bedroom door.

"Perrie" it was Zayn.

"Perrie babe open up we know you in there" and Jesy.

I just ignored them. I can't face any of them, i'm so ashamed of what I've done. I need to get out of here. I stayed silent until they finally gave up and I heard the dorm door close. I quickly packed a bag of stuff and left the building making sure i wouldn't be seen by anyone. I got into my car and set off for the 5 hour drive home.

All I could think about was Leigh-Anne and the hurt in her eyes when I told her, it's killing me. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes but I had to fight then back otherwise I would probably crash.

I decided to turn on the radio and the worst song that could possibly come on at this time came on, Cry by Kelly Clarkson. I was in such a daze I didn't realise I was home until I pulled up. I could see my mums car outside which meant she was home, I got out and went inside.

I saw my mum sat on the sofa, she looked straight up and saw me and I just burst out crying collapsing once again to the floor. Suddenly I felt my mums arms around me as she sat beside me not saying anything just letting me cry. Once I managed to compose myself my mum lifted me up and sat me on the sofa pulling me into her.

"Shhh, what happened" my mum said stroking my hair.

"Me and Leigh broke up"

"What why"

"I kissed Jade mum"

"Who's Jade"

So I explained everything about Jade how I feel about her and I could help but smile a little thinking about her and then how I feel about Leigh-Anne etc and she just sat and listened.

""You've got yourself into a pickle there love"

"YA think, what should I do mum" I sighed.

" I don't know honey that's up to you but avoiding them isn't going to solve anything, just stay here for the weekend and go back and talk to them, maybe Leigh-Anne would have calmed down then"

"Yeah" was all I could say.

"Takeaway" my mum asked.

"Yes please"

My mum got up and ordered the takeaway while I went to put my bag in my room. Now that's I've calmed down a little I thought I best let them know where I am. I turned my phone on and was spammed with texts and calls, 15 miss calls and 10 texts from Jesy 14 miss calls and 5 messages from Zayn and 5 miss calls and 1 text from Jade, none from Leigh-Anne which caused my heart to sink a little, I thought she would have at least checked to see if I was okay since I've been gone all day nearly.

I didn't want to speak to any of them but I could tell they were worried so I just text Zayn telling him im at home. He replied and said he would tell the rest of them.

I laid on my bed looking up at the feeling thinking about everything I want Leigh-Anne but I want Jade as well And I know if I go with Jade then I will probably lose all my friends. What if I give up on me and Leigh-Anne to get with Jade and it turns out she doesn't even like me I mean there hasn't been any sighs letting me know she does I bet she's not even gay or bi. I shouldn't even be thinking about this how can I even think about giving up on Leigh-Anne for someone who I don't even know likes girls, it's stupid. just then my mum shouted me that tea was here.

I went downstairs and me and my mum just sat and watched a few films and ate our takeaway. I love times like this with my mum, her and my brother have always been there for me no matter what and I could never Thank them enough. After the films finished I got ready for bed yeah it was only 10 but I was so tired a lot has happened today and I need sleep.

The next day I woke up about 10 and I couldn't be bothered to get up so I stayed in bed feeling sorry for myself and my mum brought me breakfast in bed. I text Niall to see if he was busy he's the only person I can talk to that isn't my mum. About half an hour late he came round. We sat in my bed as I cuddled into him and explained everything to him.

"Well hmmm, like you said why give up on Leigh-Anne when there probably isn't a chance for you and Jade"

"But what am I gonna do about my feelings for Jade"

"Well you need to be realistic Perrie don't give up on Leigh if your happy with her, you deserve to be happy and why you never know your feelings for Jade might be a phase"

We talked for a while longer, what he was saying made sense I mean I was truly happy with Leigh-Anne and feel like I could again and maybe my feeling for Jade will go away. It was about 6 when Niall left and I just sat in my bed looking through my phone I started looking through the photos from the day we went out through London and there was one picture of me and Leigh-Anne that is my favourite I just kept looking at it. I miss Leigh-Anne I need to at least try and get her back. Next thing I know I'm in my car driving back to London, I text my mum to tell her where I was going.

As I was driving I put on my iPod loosing myself in the music. I came to a red light and stop then when it turned green I set off again. Next thing I heard was a ear piecing screech and then everything went black.

---------------------------------------------

Oooooooooo hope you like it :)

Thank you all that have read the fanfic so far :) means a lot :)

Love y'all