Perrie's Dilemma

Chapter 33

When my mum got home from work Leigh-Anne made me go talk to her, I was scared because I dont want her to hate me or anything.

"hi mum" I said as I entered the living room and sat next to her.

"hi"

"i'm so sorry mum" I cried hugging into her she insistantly hugged me back.

"shhh its okay"

"its not mum i'm a mess, I need Jade, I'm so sorry for putting you through this, I just want the pain to stop mum I cant take it anymore, why did she do this"

"hey come on its okay stop crying, thats not going to solve anything"

"i cant its all i've been doing since she left"

"i promise you it will be okay it will get easier time is really a great healer, but staying in your room all day everyday feeling sorry for yourself isnt going to help, you need to get out there, you've only 2 weeks untill your back at Uni make it count, go out with Leigh-Anne get Jesy here, go see Niall, whatever it is because it will make it easier to deal with, trust me on this one I know what I'm talking about"

"I guess your right" I sighed

"you guess?, when have I ever been wrong" she laughed.

"never" I giggled

"thank you mum and i'm so sorry for putting you through all this I just miss Jade"

"I know darling but if you are meant to be together which I believe you are then it will happen"

"thank you mum" I said kising her and then going back upstairs to Leigh-Anne.

"and.." she said before I even walked through the door.

"it went okay" I smiled.

"ah theres that beautiful smile" I couldnt help but blush.

"we're going to get you through this okay, its going to be okay" She said hugging me.

"whos we're"

"me and Jesy" she smiled looking towards the door, I looked at the door and saw Jesy standing there.

"OMG" I screamed and ran into Jesy's arms.

"hey you" she smiled

"what are you doing here, I didnt see you come in and I was just downstairs"

"well Leigh-Anne text me and told me to get here as soon as I could said it was important, so I got the first train up here and I waited outside till you came back up"

"awww I've missed you" I said giving her a hug.

Being around these two made me start to feel a bit better, I know Ive got a long way to go but my mums right sitting here feeling sorry for myself isnt going to bring Jade back to me and isnt going to help me move on, if thats even possible.

That night we got takeaway and watched films till the early hours. I managed to eat a bit the most Ive had in weeks. Jade still wouldnt leave my mind and my heart was still breaking but Jade was and still is the love of my life and thats never going to change but I have to move on she clearly doesnt want me so I have to let go.

The next to weeks were hard but Jesy and Leigh-Anne basically moved in for the last 2 weeks they wouldnt leave my side even thought I just mainly wanted to be on my own. Every few days we would go out and do something if I could face it if not we would stay in a do stuff, I was still broken but my mum is right doing stuff and being around people is making it a slight bit easier. Even Zayn came to visit which was nice I havent seen him since graduation and he stayed for a few days. Normally my mum wouldnt let this many people stay for this long but she knows I need it which was nice of her. However we now only have 2days left till we went back to Uni and I was dreading it, I cant go back to mine and Jades place.

"babe you okay" Jesy asked as we sat at the table for tea.

"I dont want to go back to Uni I cant face mine and Jades place"

"you going to tell her or am I" Leigh-Anne smiled at Jesy

"tell me what"

"well we thought you might feel like this so we're one step ahead if you want to do this" Jesy smiled

"We spoke to the principle a few days ago and briefly explained the situation and he said we can all move into another dorm that has 3 bedrooms in, so you dont have to stay in yours and Jades place, it cost a little bit more but me and Jesy sorted that"

"are you serious"

"yep" Jesy beamed

"guys thank you thats means so much God I love you"

We ate our tea and like we did most nights we went and watched a few films. I bet they are sick of it but they arent letting on that they are which just shows how good they are and how lucky I am to have them. Half way through the film I started thinking about Jade again and every time I do its like someone is ripping my heart out over and over again, I couldnt help but cry.

"Perrie you okay" Jesy asked worriedly,

"no" I cried

"hey come here" she said pulling me into a hug

"its going to be okay, its just going to take time, we're going to go back to Uni tomorrow to sort things out and when we do you'll be studying etc and the pain well ease okay"

"I hope so, I wanna go to sleep now guys"

"okay night".

The next day we packed our bags and set off back to Uni, Its going to be hard being back in the place were I met Jade but i've come this far. When we got there Jordan Sam and Zayn were all there they said they would help us move our stuff into our new dorm. Zayn, Jesy and Sam went into my dorm to get my stuff and me Leigh-Anne and Jordan did Jesy and Leigh-Annas room. A few hours later we managed to get everything into our new dorm which was 2 floors above our old ones but I dont care. After we finished we went out for dinner before the boys had to leave. When we got back I set up my bed and then sorted a few bits out, the room was the same layout as my old one so I made sure it didnt look anything like it. I was going through on of my boxes the guys had packed and I saw my favourite picture of me and Jade, I havent seen a picture of her since Leigh-Anne came she wouldnt let me. Seeing her face again hurt so much I had to sit down and hold my stomach and chest it felt like I was getting stabbed over and over again in my stomach and chest. I felt the tears form in my eyes I would literally do anything to get Jade back I just wish I knew why she did this but I dont. I keep telling myself to move on and accept it but its so hard especially being back here when constant reminders of her. I just wish I knew were she was and that she is okay and that Jack hasnt got to her, because if she died I'd die. This year is going to be a hard.